I Love You 3000 (Y.Jw)

Chapter 31

The finale had been fast approaching, faster than I would've liked, and before we knew it, it was already tomorrow. After having had our last practice we had gone up to eat dinner but had instead been surprised with packed bags on the table.

"Oh... they have names on them," Daniel pointed out and everyone immediately began looking around after their own names on a bag.

"Who is... Vita?" K questioned with a frown, as he was standing with a dark purple bag in hands and I immediately reached out for it and grabbed it.

"You've got to be kidding me," I muttered as I recognized my mom's handwriting on the small piece of paper giving out the name of the owner, I smiled softly at the sight of her handwriting.

"Ah... it's her birthname," Jay pointed out and I nodded in confirmation of that statement.

As everyone got their bags everyone slowly opened it to see a meal prepared inside it along with a letter from their parents. My bag was no exception and I grinned widely at the sight in my bag.

"Wah... how did they get all these here," I commented in awe at the many snacks I hadn't seen all year since I came here, before I pulled up the classic Danish smørrebrød, packed in a transparent mealbox, which in reality just was an open sandwich on dark bread.

"That looks so fancy," Sunghoon commented and I shook my head at him and waved my hand as everyone slowly began reading their letters out loud and it soon became the point to not cry whilst reading the letters. We all listened closely to everyone's letters and comforted each other as everyone read out their letters, "Bubs," Sunghoon urged me to read mine, drying off his eyes after having let Jay read his letter as he couldn't do it himself.

"Ah..." I sighed and picked up the letter from the table before carefully beginning to read out loud, what stood in the letter, translating it from the language it originally stood in, "if you hadn't cried I wouldn't have such a hard time doing this," I pointed out to Sunghoon who let out a soft laugh, before I started reading the letter from my mom.

'My lovely daughter, Jiyeon.

Do you know I see your face everywhere I go? At the playground, in the supermarket, even at my work. I recall all those memories we've made in these common places, whenever I go there.

In a matter of two months you became the pride of the country. Nearly everyone I know is voting for you, old or young, they once spoke of you in the morning news as well, when you placed first. 
As much as I love seeing you like that, achieving your dreams, I can't help but miss my sweet little princess. Every time I see your face I'm reminded of the small girl that was playing dress up with her brother just five years ago.

We miss you with each day that passes, but everything is fine when we see you on screen pursuing your dream and working hard. We know you're doing what you love, but it's hard for your dad and I to see our beloved kids slowly grow up and disappear as time passes, out to do their own things.

When I look at you on screen I no longer see the girl who was so sick in her childhood, I don't see the girl that was in and out of the hospital up till she were nine. Instead I see the strong young woman you've become, and still are becoming, despite you still struggling with the aftermath of your condition. I'm so proud of you for what you've overcome.

I remember back in December Jihoon-'

I let out a deep sigh and quickly fanned my eyes at the mention of my older brother before continuing.

'Back in December Jihoon told me that you would debut for sure, and as each day passes I believe it even more. He had smiled so widely at the thought of you debuting. For once it seemed like he looked forward to something.

Jiseok religiously watches each episode and brags about you at any chance he gets. He's so proud of you and are cheering you on all the way, even though we know he misses you. He often sits and watches your focus cams, or small clips of you from behind the scenes. He even has your picture in his phone case.

Your dad is desperately trying to pull through. He really wishes to see your debut. He votes everyday and is staying strong to see your face each Friday. He has even sworn on his grave that he'll stay to watch you end up in the final line up.

We all love you so much.

P.S I packed some of that cold buttermilk soup you love so much. Please enjoy it.'

The boys all applauded me for not letting a tear fall at any point in the letter, despite me being close, multiple times. Especially at the mention of my brothers.

"You mom has more to say than Jay has," Heeseung let out a laugh and I nodded in agreement, knowing she would've written a lot more if she only had more time and space to do so.

"You have two brothers?" Jake questioned in surprise and I nodded.

"Jiseok is my twin, and Jihoon were seven years older than us," I nodded and he widened his eyes at me as I just nodded silently.

Everyone continued to read their letters before we all just sat and ate whilst chatting about what our parents had said and telling each other about our childhood memories and laughing along with each other about those stories.

"Bubs... why have you not spoken about Jihoon, when you've spoken so much of Jiseok?" Sunghoon questioned me curiously making me stop eating my food, as I began thinking.

"Jihoon... how do I put it?" I questioned letting out a small laugh as I scratched the side of my nose, "I'm scared it'll sound harsh," I admitted to the boys who all stayed silent and just looked at me, "but Jihoon committed suicide last December," I explained and it went completely silent in the room as the boys all looked around at each other, if it even was possible to make it more silent in the room.

"Do... do you know why?" K questioned carefully and I casually nodded at him.

"Yeah, yeah my brother was in quite a big accident back in 2014, where a lot of people and his friends passed, but he was one of the survivors," I explained to the boys, "so he had always lived with this survivor's guilt since then, even when we moved back to Denmark right after the accident. It seemed to have gotten to his head even after all those years. But it was alright, we never really had our older brother after the incident, he never really recovered."

"You seem to take it a lot better than what most people would," Jay commented and I nodded.

"I mean... it's not like I'm not sad about it or anything, but in a way... I think I understand why he did it, and I know there was nothing more that could help him in any way. We had done so much in an attempt to help him, but nothing ever seemed to work," I explained and he nodded, "I think if... I understand why he did it and I accept that that's what he chose as his escape, then I can sort of live with it and be alright with it, no matter how hard it must be."

"You're insane. I don't think I've ever seen someone who handles death that well," Heeseung commented and I just shrugged as I continued eating my food.