Don't Fade Away

2: Last Straw

"The environment that broke you cannot be the environment that puts you back together."      

- Rania

Alex's pov

"Alex, Alex!" my mother yelled from the bottom of our creaky staircase. I hate when she calls me, or even says my name. What right does she deserve?

 "What? Damn!" I yell back, not moving a muscle from my position. 

"Get down here!" She stated in a demanding tone. She probably wants me to meet some creepy old douche bag, I'm tired of the weird stares, I can always sense them scanning me with their eyes, undressing me. She's always too excited for free drugs to ever notice the kind of danger she puts us in. 

"Can't. Busy." I said putting my headphones in playing What if i kissed you by Drake (yes I have layers). I didn't even get to the second verse before my door swung open, slamming against my poster filled wall.

"What did I say young lady?!" My mom said standing in the doorway furious. 

"Didn't I tell you to knock before you enter my room? Do you ever listen? I don't even see the use in talking to you anymore. To answer your question though, I did hear what you said but I didn't see how it benefited me so I decided to stay up here." I put my headphone back in my ear right before she yanked it, slamming my iPhone against the wall. 

"What the fuck!" I yelled in response. Not like I had to pick up so many deliveries and shifts under the table for months to afford that phone. I only use it to listen to music anyways, but still. 

"Downstairs now! Don't make me come up here again!" she gritted her teeth and with that she left. I forced myself out of bed, dragging my feet to my doom. I slid down the creaky staircase until I stood at the bottom. She motioned for me to come sit on the couch and after a severe eye-roll, I obeyed. 

"Yes?" I muttered.

"First things first, last month I told you I went to talk to someone and it made me realize I need to be a better role model for you, you know like a real mom should, since everything that has happened to you is obviously my fault and whether you admit it or not you are broken and you are hurtin-"

"I'm fine." I interrupted. I hate when she rambles. Going on and on, its always like shes reading from a script. However, the soothing cadence in her voice made my mind believe she was genuine. 

"I'm talking." She snapped. She recollected herself, continuing to pick up where she left off, "You're hurt but you are not the cause of my personal problems. I've made many bad choices but I'm willing to make it right or at least try to, but just know I love you and you're my baby girl." She looked into my eyes like I was waiting for these words for years, honestly I have, but it's been exactly that, years of me waiting. I decided a long time ago I was never going to hold my breath for her to change. I mean come on, how many times does she say this before she actually does something about it. 

"Ok." I said in my very monotone voice. I could tell by the slight flicker in her eyes that I hurt her, not a reaction I'm using to putting on her, so maybe this time was different, my heart continued to try and convince me. Who am I kidding? I told myself, it's never different. 

"I know it won't happen overnight. I have been building a plan with this wonderful lady for a couple of days now." She kissed my forehead and headed to the kitchen, "but in order to start new, we need to start in a new location, we are moving to California." She finished her sentence and with that she disappeared. 

I turned around in shock . "What!" I yelled. We are currently reside in the cold and private New Hampshire. Why do people feel like they have to move across country to get a new life?  

As if hearing the questions bounce around in my mind, her head poked through her door frame, "It's warmer and nicer. Jess Williams and I found a wonderful job working in an apartment complex. My location lets me live in the building at a very generous discount so, I could afford to get a two bedroom apartment and it's 10 minutes from the beach also you co-"

"I'm not going!" I yelled and ran out the house after grabbing my smashed phone and headphones. I ran all the way to the park in a failed attempt to clear my thoughts. That's where I used to go when my mom brought friends home. To think, out of all the times she's faked a change, now she has to take my away from everything that I know to do it? I put in my headphones and listened to Good Enough by Empire Fox Cast. I sat on the swing until I felt someone touch my shoulder. I turned around to see my dad. I've seen him enough to be able to recognize him, plus the resemblance was mind-blowing.

"Hello beautiful lady, why you out here all alone?" He slurred his words. How disgusting. To be so drunk that you can't recognize your own daughter. 

"Get away creep!" I backed up. 

"Creep? I just wanna show you love baby." I could smell the alcohol roll off his tongue. He backed me up into a tree and caressed my face, there was no ones name I could scream out, no one came to mind, so I just cried while he began to remove his belt, the memories flashing back in, this can't be happening to me again. I sob and sob but no screams escape my mouth. 

*WACK* "Get the fuck off of my daughter, NOW!" a familiar voice yelled, it was my mom. She began to beat my dad with a bat, now I think she's getting some in for herself. "You fucking idiot! That's Alex, our daughter." She yelled while simultaneously hitting him with every syllable she spoke.  

"Alex?" He looked so confused, "I thought you were 8." He said as he limped out of the park. My mother ran over to hug me, she wiped my tears and looked me in my eyes. Only now have I noticed that she hasn't been her usual self. Her face was radiant and free of blemishes, her nose no longer red and sore, whereas her eyes were not accompanied by the baggage of our lives. She actually hasn't been doing drugs, or drinking. I've been so preoccupied with seeing her through dark clouds that I didn't even notice. It was still too soon, but I let her hug me all the way home. 

"Nothing bad will happen baby girl, we leave tomorrow." I just cried and nodded.