Waited for so long....(1/3)

He loves me...

Colleens POV

We had a wonderful time in Santa Barbara with our family yesterday I was thinking as Josh and I were driving back to LA. Tonight I was flying out with Rachel to go on tour for a week. Everyone asked us about our honeymoon and if we were pregnant yet. They were just joking and obviously don't know what we have found out but everytime someone asked me I had to put a smile on my face and let it roll off of me. I couldn't let them see how upset I was on the inside. As I stared out the window I felt Josh grab my hand off my lap. He always seems to know when I need him. Even just a simple touch reminds me of how much he loves me."A penny for your thoughts?" he says in his southern accent. "Thinking about the tour babe" I reply with a lie. "Babe" he says sternly. He knows I am lying. " I could barely keep myself together when people kept asking us jokingly if we were pregnant yet" as a single tear falls down my cheek. "Must be the hormones" I add trying to blame the meds. "It isn't the hormones yet hun it is just 'you' overthinking things and being human. I love you babe.Please don't worry about the negatives. We will have a baby". he insists.

Josh POV

I am promising Colleen she will have a baby to be optimistic and crossing my fingers as I said it. It kills me to see her worry and even more knowing that she will be away from me this week on tour. There will be lots of quiet time which means she will be thinking about this subject way too much. I don't want her to make herself sick. "Babe" I say. She turns her head to look at me. "Do you want me to come with you on tour this week? I am worried about this subject being so new to us and you worrying too much." I say. "You are so sweet and I would love you to but its only a week" as she puts her hand behind my neck. "I will be okay".

Colleen POV

Rachel and I are on the plane heading to Ohio. I explain to her in more detail of what is going on with me medically. I need her help giving me the shots. She knows by how serious this is not to make jokes and she agrees to help me during the next few months when we are touring.

We land and get settled into the hotel in Ohio and for the next few days we are flying around from city to city trying to get through the week. About halfway through the tour I get terrible stomach pains and Rachel is insisting on me going to get checked out. She phones Josh because she doesn't want him angry with her.

Josh POV

I see Rachel calling me. "hey Rachel whats up?" I ask. I hear her explaining to me that she is bringing Colleen to urgent care in the city they are in now because she is having excruciating stomach pains. I feel tears in my eyes. Why did I let her go without me especially on a brand new medication? I should be there with her. I knew something would go wrong. "Rachel can I talk to her?" I ask. "Of course" she says. "Hi baby" I hear Colleen say weakly. "Colleen, whats going on? Is it the new medication? " I ask. "I am not sure but don't worry I will be fine. Its probably because it is new to me and it will take time for my body to cope. Rachel is making more of this and is making me go. It ain't so bad" she says unconvincingly. "Colleen when did the pains start?" I ask her now crying. "Babe please don't cry they aren't that bad. They started a few hours ago" she says. "Are you bleeding babe?" I ask. "No---" she says but then I hear Rachel grab the phone out of Colleens hand and says to me "Josh I found her on the bathroom floor. There is something serious going on and  she is bleeding. Ok Josh I will call you when I know something. I promise." and then she hangs up. I am now crying....I am a basketcase. What kind of husband am I? I should never have let her go......