Waited for so long....(1/3)

Upset

JOsh POV

I haven't slept much all night. I am worried. Colleen is doing too much. Even though there are only 2.5 weeks left of her tour I think she needs to cancel. I see her laying beside me and think of all the shit she has gone through up until now. We need to protect our baby. I need to protect her. I feel her stir beside me and I wrap my arms around her. "Morning babe" I say. "Morning" she says as she rolls onto her back. "I think you grew over night Colleen" I say as I look down at her stomach. She looks down and rubs her tummy with both hands and says "I think you are right" and just giggles.

"Babe can we talk?" I ask. She nods and looks at me. "Now I know you have never cancelled a show before but can I suggest you cancel the last part of your tour. Your body isn't tolerating it well and last night you scared me again " I say. She looks at me shocked. "You are kidding right? I have two and a half weeks left. I am not cancelling Joshua. These kids will be so disappointed if I do." she says. "What about yours and Lilys health?" I suggest. "I want to look after you both" I continue. She jumps out of bed. Her face turning beat red. "Joshua are you implying that I am not taking care of our child or myself? I have been doing the best I can. I am the one with a baby inside me. I am the one working so that in one month I can relax for the next year and enjoy her. It is only a few more weeks. I can get through it" she yells. "I was only suggesting it Colleen because of last night. You almost passed out and because I love you" I say. "I am a big girl Josh! I know my body better than anyone else!" she says and then she storms off into the bathroom and slams the door. I start crying.

Colleens POV

How dare he suggest that I cancel the shows. I know how my body reacts and I know first hand the struggles I have gone through to get to this day. Does Josh think I am a bad mother already before Lilly is even born? I start to cry. I turn on the shower and walk in. I sit on the floor of the shower and cry. I hear the bathroom door open and Josh sticks his head in the shower as I look up. He reaches out his hand and I just look at it. I am too upset. I will be a horrible mother and Josh thinks so already. "Babe I am sorry. I know you love your fans but I love you and Lilly more. The fans aren't worth getting you or both of you sick. " he says crying. "Thats why I was suggesting to cancel" he says."You think I am going to be a horrible mother don't you Josh? Are you sorry you got me pregnant?" I say cruelly. He backs up and starts balling and walks away. I am instantly sad at what I just said. I didn't mean it. Who was I? I know....I am very pregnant and very hormonal. I am taking everything too personally. Josh just cares about me. I jump out of the shower and dry off and grab a robe. I see Josh sitting in the armchair looking out a window. I go and sit on his lap. "Baby I am so sorry" I say as I grab his tear stained face. "My hormones are not making me act rationally. I know you just want whats best for me and the baby. I guess I sometimes think that you don't think I will be a good mom. It is my weakness, my one main worry in life is to be a terrible mom." I say crying. Josh reaches up to my face. "I couldn't have found anyone better to be the mother of my children Colleen. You are most maternal and loving person I know. You were born to be a fantastic mom." Josh says. "I think we just need to make some improvisations to the show and have you sit more often when you can. Maybe that will help" Josh suggests. I nod and take a deep breath. He definitely loves us.