LongBow ~ LGBT (Historical-Romance-Fantasy)

Crøss-examine

 I hate this waiting shit! I've already read all the fuckin' women's magazines I can stand. Didn't find one interesting article, except a chocolate cake recipe. He already knows if I am going to return to work or not. It's not as if I can't fake a psych exam. Straight forward, I have asthma, client attacked me, (as I had dreamt would happen), had asthma attack, severely pulled ligament in my leg, but nothing that I haven't done of my own accord. I see the shadow of your scuffling feet under the door, just call me back and get it the fuck over with! Your understudy is driving me nuts, no pun intended. I can't go outside to smoke a cigarette or to the bathroom, without her checking where I am.

"Daniel, it's good to see you. Please come into my office so we can talk. I'm so sorry to keep you waiting. I had calls in the interim. Please make yourself comfortable," Mr. Jones offers.

Yeah, about as comfortable as a prostate exam with a doctor who thinks two unlubed fat fingers will fit up my port hole.

 "So, I see we are in the same field. And you had an altercation with one of your patients? I am so sorry," Jones begins.

"Well, I prefer to refer to them as clients, primarily because it humanizes them, and also without presenting their needs to me, I wouldn't have a career," Daniel interjects.

"That is very commendable to think in that fashion, So, this incident with one of your clients resulted in your hospitalization?" inquires Mr. Jones.

"More accurately, I was treated and released from the emergency room within a few hours, which is customary for E.R.'s these days, unfortunately," Daniel offers nonchalantly.

"That is good! I don't like hospitals either. So tell me what initiated this attack and how do you feel about yourself and ability to resume your duties, considering your test results," inquires Jones.

"What preceded the attack is of course confidential. But in short, I attempted to coax him into accepting his prior actions, and he presented a Manic episode. I feel fine Mr. Jones and quite capable of resuming my duties" Daniel informs.

"But but do you have any apprehension in returning to the place of your attack?" Inquires Jones.

"A person's unknown state of mind and mood swings are the beast of our business," Daniel grasps.

"Yes, but this is the first incident of violence perpetrated upon you, I presume? It's not uncommon to have reservations after a traumatic and stressful ordeal," Jones intimates.

"Listen, we can dance around the white elephant in the middle of the room all afternoon, but the question and the answers will remain the same. Am I ready? Yes, I am fine," Daniel exhausts.

"You seem to be a little irritated with my trying to express empathy towards your situation, Daniel. Why so?" Jones discerns.

Daniel attempts to placate, "Please don't confuse my being tired and smarting due to physical injury with being irritated. After having spent six hours in the ER last night, sitting nearly two hours here on a bad leg, I just need some rest," requests Daniel.

"While I admire your dedication, I only have your welfare and the welfare of your 'clients' in mind when determining your RTW/RFD," soothes Jones.

"I understand and can appreciate that," coddles Daniel.

"Which is why I mentioned your test results, particularly relating to the section of prior abuse. Your answers indicate subconsciously you may be repressing some vital information important for making a determination," Jones informs.

'What do you mean?" Daniel begins to rasp.

"You tell me. Just like your clients must share for you to help them, you have to share with me so that I may help you. I can't just sign off on returning someone to an environment if they may suffer from PTSD. Especially, if triggered from past events," sensibly notes Jones.

"I understand, totally. But really there is no past event that may affect my future effectiveness or safety, Mr. Jones. I know how these tests may be interpreted, and they are primarily subjective in nature. I am fine," Daniel wheezes.

"If it were just one isolated answer, I might be more inclined to agree with you, but it's not just one answer, it's several," Jones notes.

"Which questions are they, and I will attempt to explain my answers if there is truly a way to do that within the parameters of the question," Daniel asks.

"You know that's not the way it works. We ask related questions in different ways to determine if someone may be repressing purposely or inadvertently. Then we discuss the results," Jones delineates.

"Yes, and I've answered those vague questions honestly, even though the tests don't allow for explanations or spectrum of choices. That's why we talk, so as to get a better understanding or clear up a misunderstanding," Daniel attempts to appease.

"But you do not have misunderstandings. You understand where the questions lead. And I believe you are putting up a brick wall between us. I can't accept that you are 'fine'. I want to KNOW you are 'fine'", Jones fishes in a deja vu moment..

"I understand, but I don't know how else to communicate to you that I am fine," Daniel sighs.

"Do you need to take some medication? You are wheezing and I don't mean to exasperate you. I'm not your enemy, you know? I don't want to expose all your deepest darkest fears and secrets, unless it is pertinent. If this is your first physical attack, then it's normal to be apprehensive. If this is not your first rodeo, we need to explore how that may or may not affect your abilities, and devise a plan of action in order to return you to work. It's nothing to be embarrassed about," assures Jones.

"It doesn't... nothing in my past has any bearing upon this isolated incident, Mr. Jones," Daniel attempts to recover from his verbal stumble.

Mr. Jones remains quiet after noting conflicts in Daniel's faltering rhetoric.

"Mr. Jones, I need to start heading home before the traffic downtown gets too bad, especially since I'm driving a stick shift," excuses Daniel.

"Well, currently Daniel I can't approve your return to work in good conscience, but perhaps during your time off, you will make an appointment to discuss this matter further," Jones solemnly concludes.

"Well, I cant' say that this is the result I expected. But I respect your opinions, however erroneous I believe them to be," Daniel says in disdain.

"My door is always open to you, Daniel. Please believe that above all. I don't want you to be hurting inside. Who else can we talk to, if we can't talk to one another?" Jones attempts to console.

"Yeah, sure. I'll see you at the symposiums maybe sometime, Mr. Jones," Daniel concludes.

After managing to climb behind the wheel of his jeep and fumbling for keys unseen, Daniel seethes to himself: "SHIT, I know I answered that section appropriately. Yeah, I have had abuse in my past that is NOT relevant. And now I've been put out of commission for six weeks or until I undergo torture for who knows how long. Fuck that! Jon did not attack me because I had an incident of violence in my past. He attacked me because of his past abuse and his anger towards his sexuality..." Daniel's voice trails.

"Are you okay to drive Daniel? You look a little flushed," Jones startles Daniel with his presence at his driver window.

"Yes, sir. I just need some food, rest and medications" Daniel offers unconvincingly.

"We think we can solve the world's problems without being aware of dents in our own armor. We're not expected to be supermen, you know?" winks Jones.

"I agree. And every human being does not prescribe to a predetermined blueprint. Hence, tests and labels," Daniel smirks before cranking up Mozart in the subwoofers.

Hmm, at least he appreciates good music, I'll be seeing you again, Daniel. And it will be my pleasure. Jones smiles as Daniel rolls out into McCallie traffic.