𝑺𝒕𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝒐𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 • Sam Evans

𝟐𝒙𝟏𝟓: 𝑺𝒆𝒙𝒚

They had to be kidding. Brittany thinking that she was pregnant because a stork had built a nest on her house, Mercedes and Finn thinking cucumbers could get you AIDS... It was totally crazy. And the situation didn't begin to look getter when Mr Schue entered to the choir room and wrote SEXY in big red capital letters on the whiteboard.

"I really hope that's not one of the requirements for Regionals because whith Bery on those tights we don't stand a chance" Santana uttered and I chuckled as I rolled my eyes.

"Poor Rachel, let her be" I scolded Santana.

"This isn't about Regionals" our teacher said, and everyone could feel a little bit of concern on his voice. "I'm less worried about that right now and more worried about the fact that it's become clear to me that some of you have been lackingwhen it comes to understanding the... the... the intricacies of adult relationships".

"If this is going to where I think it's going I'm gonna throw up" I whispered between all the laughs of my team mates.

"Anyways. Along with preparing for our Regional next week I wanna spend the week educating ourselves about some of these intricacies".

"Is this the appropiate forum for that?" Rachel asked, saying what we all had in mind.

"Look," our teacher continued "whenever we had, uh, issues in the past that are on our minds or giving us problems, it's always helped us to sing about it.

"Thank God Mr Schue isn't gonna give us the talk because, if so, I'd die" Tina whispered making me laugh.

"So, this week, I have invited a special guest... Miss Holliday!" Mr Schue finished as the woman entered the choir room while we all applauded because MIss Holliday always meant fun.

"Hola clase" she uttered. "So, sex. It's just like hugging, only wetter".

"Yeah, it is" Artie stated, making me feel not-so-cool chills and a little bit uncomfortable.

"Okay, so let's start with the basics" the woman said. "Finn, is it true that you thought you got your girlfriend pregnant via hot tub?"

"I have always been dubius" he said. I did a pity gesture and tapped his shoulder gently.

"No you haven't buddy, no you haven't" I whispered, rubbing his back.

"And Brittany" Miss Holly continued. "You think that storks bring babies?"

"I get my information from Woody Woodpecker cartoons" my friend said proudly and I felt those uncomfortable chills again. It was so accurate that it hurted and, for the first time, I really wondered how was it possible for Britt to have an active sexual live without having any disease or more pregnancy scares.

"Well, that's all gonna end here and now" Miss Holliday smiled. "Because, today, we are gonna get under the covers, all together, and get the ditty on the dirty".

"I don't think I'm really comfortable with that" I whispered.

"What about us who choose to remain celibate?" Rachel asked, moving closer to me and Quinn.

"Rach, the fact that I'm not comfortable with this coversation doesn't mean I am choosing celibacy" I mumbled.

"I respect your choices ladies, but I find you naive and a little frigid" the substitute said, making me open my mouth in surprise. Had she just...? 

"I think this is a good time for a song" Mr Schue interrumpted her.

"Oh, yes. Okay. Rule number one: every intimate encounter that you're ever going to have in your life is going to start with... A touch. Hit it!"