Surrendered

Chapter Twenty-three : Guarded

Chapter Twenty-Three

Kylos constant eye on me was starting to grate on my patience, I'd been home for three days and although at first it was endearing to have him follow me everywhere and check how I was all of the time I was getting fed up.

I got up for the fifth time that night to pee and he'd followed me into the fresher again.

I sighed and put my head in my hands "Kylo this needs to stop."

"Why?" He asked wrinkling his forehead.

"I need some privacy, it's bad enough lugging this around all day." I gestured to my stomach. "I just want to pee in peace, please."

"Okay, I'll stop following you in our quarters." He compromised, leaving me alone and heading back into our bed.

"Thank you." I breathed with relief that he didn't try to fight me on this.

I finished up and got back into bed snuggling into his large muscular chest, he was so warm, and I'd missed the closeness we had before I was pregnant. He traced careful circles on my silk nightdress that strained over my large bump.

"I met your mum on the resistance base." I said, I wanted to tell him sooner, but I wanted to wait until he'd had some time to calm down and process my return.

"I thought you would have." He breathed, still caressing my stomach. "Did she say anything about me?"

"A bit, she said you were a very loving child when you were Ben." I whispered carefully, not wanting to set him off he stiffened when he heard his birth name.

"He's gone. I killed him." He said stubbornly, but I could feel what he felt, and he knew he was lying to himself.

"You don't believe that." I pointed out.

"Snoke made me kill him." I could feel him tensing behind me.

"He's still there, I can feel him. You can never kill your past Kylo." I said gently carefully stroking his hand that rested on my stomach.

"Hmm." He sighed not wanting to argue with me. "Go back to sleep, you need your rest."

I knew this argument wasn't over just yet, but I was sleepy, so I obeyed and drifted back off to sleep.

--

I woke up to a delicious smell, I got out of bed slowly and pulled on my long black silk gown.

"Good morning" Kylo greeted me from our dining area, he was surrounded by food and was reading his datapad.

"This is too much." I gestured to all of the food, there was no way we'd be able to eat all of it.

"You need your strength." He said whilst still reading his data pad.

"It's hard to eat much when your kid is crushing my organs." I moaned. 

"Why is it just my kid when they are doing something to inconvenience you?" Kylo winked as he looked over.

"Yes, when she's behaving like you. She has these fits of movement and kicks my ribs, that is when she's most definitely your child."

"I hope that she is more like you." He said seriously, the mood changed suddenly.

"Kylo you'll be a perfect father to her, you will protect her and not let any harm ever come to her." I reached for his hand across the table to carefully stroke it.

"I failed you." He said darkly. "The rebel scum managed to take you right from under my nose."

"I don't blame you, and besides she will have the both of us to protect her." I rubbed my bump and smiled, it was crazy to me how much love and want to protect I could feel for my unborn child.