Endless (3-3)

I won't regret it

Summer...

I was sitting in the corner of the abandoned church where we were now having our main headquarters. Trying to stay as far from everyone else as possible. It's for their own good at the moment. The voices in my head were deafening. Some vicious and loud some like a whisper which was making me go even more crazy. I felt light-headed but at the same time my neck couldn't support the weight of my head and it kept falling on my chest. 

I could feel the fever creeping onto me, causing my skin to burn but I still felt cold. My muscles were tensing more and more often. The dark veins that were covering the bigger part of my left arm now were making me uncomfortable in my own skin. 

Suddenly a feeling as if someone had stepped on my throat overlapped me. The walls of my trachea closing in on me causing me to cough violently. I bend over, feeling like I might throw up. Terrible jolts of pain sprung from my stomach with every cough. Fortunately, it all died down after some time and I was finally able to take in the much needed beath. 

"Summer? You good?" Brenda asked, concerned. Her voice coming from the direction where the whole group was seated, waiting for Thomas and Gally to come back with Teresa. Seems like my unpleasant fit gained me some attention from the people here. Fry and Brenda were watching me with concern written all over their face, Jorge seemed confused while Newt, the only one who knew what was actually happening to me, looked worried. Pushing a small smile to my lips I looked at them. 

"Yeah, totally. Just my asthma acting up again. It will be fine." I dismissed the subject with a quite obvious lie. But half of them seemed to be satisfied enough. Fry and Jorge got back to their conversation while Brenda scanned me with her eyes suspiciously for a while more. Once she turned away again I let out an exhausted sigh. This is such a mess. I am too deep into a web of lies that seems to have no way out. Either just blur out the terrible truth shocking everyone or continue lying. There is no other way.

I have lost myself to my thoughts again. Not minding the business of others. The only thing I was aware of were Newt's eyes trained on me. Watching me over with worry-filled expression across his face. I hate to worry him like this. I hate lying to others. I hate what I have done to this group. 

"Hey," I got startled by the voice above me. Lifting my head quickly I was met with the dark brown eyes of Thomas who gave me a small smile. Mimicking his actions I smiled as well. 

"Hey." I looked to the side to see Gally there coming inside the room with the body of someone slouched over his shoulder. "Did you get her?" I asked turning my head back to Thomas as I stood up. The boy just sighed. 

"How are you feeling?" He asked worriedly. Looking me over. Apparently taking note of the dark black circles under my eyes and how pale my skin has gotten since he left. I sure am not the most beautiful girl around at the moment. 

"Good," I answered with a forced smile but the look Thomas gave me forced me to break the act. The corners of my mouth falling instantly, reflecting how I was actually feeling. "I have been better. It is getting worse." I admitted solemnly. Feeling slightly ashamed of how weak I sounded. 

"It's gonna be okay," Thomas said, a sad smile attached to his lips. He looked around to see if anyone was watching and then turned to me. He leaned in closer pressing a kiss to my hot cheek. "Come on, we have to join the others," Thomas said already walking towards the group. 

Shaking my head, trying to get rid of the shock that Thomas provided me with, I stepped closer to the group. Newt was waiting for me to come closer. Greeting me with a hug when I came to him. I know he could feel how warm my body was because he tensed a bit. But when he pulled away he had that reassuring smile on his face, as if trying to make me believe it will be alright.