Camila/You Imagines

She's Great (Girl x Girl)

A/N: short

It was a nasty thing. Time, distance, patience and everything in between. Just waiting for the future to happen but not wanting it to be here just yet. Soaking up every minute you had with this person that made you so incredibly happy. Not knowing if they feel as intensely as you do but loving the idea that they could. Living in the moment where anything is a possibility and not knowing what can happen next.

It was an insane thing. Purposely putting yourself into a position that could end up in heartache and anguish. Not knowing what could possibly ever happen. Not knowing if she'd stick through it or change her mind or simply look away. It was only the beginning and it was really nice and fun but I started to feel a shift. A slight shift. A very tender and soft shift where she could do the very bare minimum and my heart would pound out of my chest.

It had seemed like I could never fully quite catch my breath when she was around. Whether that be me simply looking at her or I was having a conversation with her about any ridiculous thing we could think of. There was plenty of things that made me feel like I had a lump in my throat. Like, her laugh and the way I could hear it as clear as day even when my thoughts were clouded. Her literal perfect smile that was like a ray of sunlight on a dark evening; her eyes captivating and so beautiful that it would make me wanna stare into them for eternity. Maybe it was her intelligence and the way she put words, she could make the most simple, unambiguous topics and turn them around to be so eloquent. It was odd.

Maybe it was the way she calmed me, like a warm summer's night overlooking a still, serene body of water. A state of tranquility if you will. Maybe it was also the way she'd make me feel so nervous to the core. Nothing really had lasted a while in the life I was given but I was truly hoping we'd make it. I had never felt this okay before, so content and excited for what was to come. But the fright was still there nonetheless.

Who were to say my heart wouldn't be broken in two months? Who were to say it wouldn't in two years? Who were to say that I had finally found someone that truly cared for me as much as I cared for them? I really didn't wanna move this faster that we already had but I was eager, I was happy. I was in a state where I was starting to have this deep, unfathomable pressure against my chest. Where I so desperately wanted to up and go and run as fast as I could to her. To finally be there while she slept, to hold her hand, to just be around her.

The thought took my breath away in itself and I was left with a heavy heart and a stomach full of butterflies. Who's to say it wouldn't happen soon? I wanted it to but I also didn't want to intrude. The yes's and no's that freely roamed my brain had always held me at a point of awareness. Was I too aware? Was I just being paranoid or insecure? Scared and sensitive? The overthinking process was surely a buzzkill but I'd never tell a soul.

I didn't really know why I had to do that, question everything, I thought everyone did. It'd be a lot easier if everyone said what they really wanted to say. I unfortunately had too much. But a simple playlist should suffice until I was bursting with suppressed affection and endearments.

But with the not knowing everything was the experience of finding things out on those things. Strengthening communication and trust when I hadn't really had that with anyone else. There's probably tons that I didn't know about the girl I had intense feelings towards and it'd slowly come up through the time we have together. I just hoped time lasted long enough cause I didn't see an end and I didn't want to. It was a good feeling either way.

It was better to live in the now. It was better to live my life at this very moment with her. While she slept on the other side of the screen cause she couldn't really sleep the night before. The comfort it brought me that she slept easier when I was around. In a way. Maybe that was my self-centered interpretation. But it still brought comfort that such an independent person wanted me around. Being here and now had me more appreciative of what she was making me feel and it was only growing everyday.

Deep sighs escaped from my lips trying to regain the breath I lost from thinking too much. I closed my eyes briefly just to look back at the screen with her blanket huddled self laying there and smiled. When it came down to it my thoughts didn't matter. I cared for her a lot and I wasn't good with verbal words. I could live a little longer with the deep sensation in my chest and waited. Patience was a virtue and my urges could calm on its own. She deserved much more than my patience.

"You're great."

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I hope y'all enjoyed whatever this wAaass and yeah if you did notttt then ur proof ur parents have a good sense of humor

Have a great day or night beautifuls x

- maddie