That Kind Of Love

Part 37

You know that moment when you realize that your life is falling apart? For me, it dint happen all at once, it happened in bits... Firstly losing mom, then losing Sakshi and now Khushi...

There was a reason why I always ran away, because the damage that happened to my heart every time I lost someone was unbearable, I was not strong enough like everyone else, that's why I always chose to run away before it happened, that way a part of me still thought that they were still alive because I dint see them dying.

I had grown up that way, getting too attached and then getting anxiety and panic attacks whenever something terrible was to happen.

Day 1 was okay, I was strong I was sure she would wake up. Week 1 kind of made me weak, I was scared, no matter what we tried, Khushi wouldn't just wake up, the doctor's dint really have an answer. Her father was here already and he dint know how to help either, actually none of us did.

Month 1 became hectic, Aditi wouldn't just stop with her taunts, it was like she wanted me to leave Khushi so she could tell her 'I told you so' but I dint want to leave.

Even when I scared as hell.

Even when my heart was breaking into pieces.

Even when I knew that if something happened to her, I wouldn't be able to survive.

When did I fall so much in love with her? Of course, it wasn't that I loved my mom or Sakshi any less than I did Khushi, but since she came into my life, she someone made me strong, I don't know how it happened, but for the first time, even when I felt like running away, I dint want to.

Month 2 was way worse than month 1, I would just sit beside her, hold her hand into mine and hope she would wake up, and when she dint, I broke. I dint know how long I was going to be able to take this pain, if I was being honest, I was scared, I was scared that I was going to lose her just like I lost mom and Sakshi.

That's why I even terrorized people so they would stay away from me, so I wouldn't get attached to anyone, so I wouldn't feel this way, but somehow Khushi managed to sneak in through the walls I had built and here I was, feeling the same things I had been trying to avoid.

Now I was at month 3. Three freaking months with Khushi still being in coma, I swear I dint think I could take this any longer, it was breaking me, really bad.

I just hoped she would wake up, please wake up Khushi. Please.

I was seated beside her as usually, holding her hand into mine, hoping she would wake up, it was the only hope I had left, every day I would come sit beside her waiting for the day she was actually going to wake up.

It was like I was being punished, the pain I ran away from when mom and Sakshi were in this situation, was the pain I was feeling now, all of it together.

The door opened up and Jai walked in for his usual visit, I might have not liked him before but he really was her true friend, he came to see her daily, and just like me hope that she was going to wake up.

"Anything?" Jai asked as he walked towards me.

"Nope, no movement at all." I said sadly.

"Don't worry, I'm sure she would wake up one day." He assured me.

"When? When will that day come Jai? I am losing my patience, I am getting scared."

"I know it's difficult Arnav, I just wish there was a way... I don't know what to do or say to you to make you feel better, all I can say is be positive, things will get better." He looked at me sadly.

I sighed as he sat down beside me, we both sat there silently staring at Khushi with the hopes that she was going to wake up soon.

According to the doctors, everything was fine, I don't know why she wasn't waking up, was she testing me? To see if I was going to stay or run away like I always did.