I'll Be There ✔ (I Will Series 1)

39. Choice

Kabanata 39
Choice

WHEN I regained my consciousness, the first thing that I did was cry and ask if my baby was okay. Liza was there telling me to calm down first. 

"Liz, my baby! My baby..." I wept. Just the thought of losing my child could already make me crazy.

"I know, I know. You need to calm down first, Erin." And there the door swung open. Inilabas nito si Loey na nagtataka sa nangyayaring sigawan. It took him a while to understand what was happening. Agad itong lumapit sa akin, he cupped my face and stared into my eyes.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I didn't tell you. I-it was all my fault... I'm sorry."  

He wiped the tears from my face and kissed my forehead. "Our baby's okay, love..."

Agad akong napaangat ng tingin ng marinig iyon, it was as if my prayers were answered. "Really?" I swallowed down a sob and wiped my eyes free of tears. Tanging tango lang ang naging sagot nito. He stroked my hair and kissed me on my forehead again, while tears build up in his eyes as well.

Kumalma lang ako ng tuluyan nang ang doctor ko na mismo ang nagsabi na mabuti nalang at matibay ang kapit ng bata, although I had to stay in the hospital for a couple of days because I lost too much blood.

"Hindi ka naman siguro tanga ano, Erinayle? Kapatid mo ako! Kung hindi pa 'to nangyari sa'yo, wala man lang akong kamalay-malay na buntis ka pala." My brother was fuming with anger. He went here straight right after his plane landed. Galing pa siya sa Spain to attend a press conference. Imagine at the age of 29, I have a stable job, already a professional, I have my own house and I still get scolded by my brother. 

"Kuya... that's not what I wanted. Gusto kong sabihin iyon kaagad sa inyo..." I roamed my eyes around the room, Lyn, Sassy, Dae, Liza, Jati, and Yumero were all here after hearing the news. "But... our situation is still in a mess, Kuya..." I swallowed a lump in my throat. I tried making eye-contact with my brother but when our eyes met, gusto ko nalang yumuko at huwag na ulit makipagtitigan sa kaniya. "Magiging magulo ulit ang lahat if I told everyone that I'm pregnant with Loey's child. Hindi ko pa noon alam that their engagement was called off, I was also planning to leave for my fellowship back then. Kaya napag-isipan kong itago nalang ang lahat at doon nalang manganak and live there peacefully. All I have in my mind at that time is that I should take good care of my child, kahit na ako lang mag-isa. I was so afraid that I'll get judge for hooking up with someone who's about to get married... I was so afraid na baka pati ang anak ko ay maapektuhan dahil sa gulong ito, Kuya..."

Ang luhang kanina ko pa pilit pinipigilan ay kusa nalang tumulo. Thinking about how the world is so cruel to those children growing up with a single parent it made me feel scared. What if it will happen to my child?

"You know where I'm coming from right?" I looked around and I saw how my friends are silently crying. When I met eyes with Daeyan she turned her back at me then she wiped her tears.

"Sobrang takot lang ako sa posibleng mangyari... Sana maintindihan niyo." Yumuko nalang ako at tuluyan nang pinakawalan ang mga luhang pilit ko paring pinipigilan.

Napaangat ang aking tingin nang may narinig akong malakas na pagsara ng pinto. Kuya left the room after I said those words. My world just fell apart. Ito ang unang beses na nag walkout si Kuya sa akin. When we're still young ako palagi ang nagwa-walkout sa kaniya kapag may away kami, this is the first time na siya ang nauna.

"Sundan ko lang ang kuya mo..." said Lyn. She was concerned so I let her follow my brother. While the others talk to me, gave pieces of advice, and comforted me.