my brothers girlfriend

we're done

TWENTY-SIX - JENNIE

From the moment the door shuts on Lisa, my stomach begins to churn with dread. I despised confrontation, except when it was with Lisa. Repeating the mantra that it will all be over soon only provides a pathetic attempt to drown out the louder voice in my head that screamed this would all somehow go horribly wrong. 

Worst case scenario, somehow, some way, Kai discovers the true reason I'm ending it with him. The thought only made me feel sick. How would I even begin to respond if reality did take this turn? 

Whatever happens, at the very least I would have Lisa for comfort by the end of the night. I think that was all I needed really. I could handle everything else as long as I had her.

It will all be over soon.

I retreat back to my room to make myself presentable and the afternoon stretches ahead with tension. When a notification from Kai gets my attention, I brace myself for the conversation we were about to have. 

kai- I'm running a little late. also slight change of plans, hope you're hungry.

Did that mean he would be bringing food or he wanted to go out? I wasn't sure, but conveniently another message appeared mentioning the restaurant and to be ready within an hour. 

I read the message several times over as if that would somehow change the words on the screen. Of course he wasn't going to make this easy on me, in fact, quite the opposite. Last-minute plan changes usually didn't bother me, but when I had rehearsed what I was going to say, I had envisioned saying it right here in the comfort and privacy of my own room and within a second that had changed. 

On top of this, it irked me that he had just made this plan without consulting me and expecting without question for me to accept it obediently. I try to find some solace in the fact that in a public place he would be less likely to make a scene, thus making it less awkward for me.

As my anxiety grows, I'm tempted to message Lisa for comfort, but she's been radio silent since she left, and knowing her, she's feeling awful herself and if I were to tell her about the change she would only feel worse. It seemed to me it would be better for her if my next interaction with her was finally telling her it was over, which would have to wait until I picked her up because it wasn't something I planned on doing over the phone. I had to see her face when I told her. 

The minutes stretch like hours as I scramble to prepare myself, mentally and physically, for what's about to come. Anxiety gnaws at my insides, and I'm rehearsing my breakup speech in my head, trying to make it sound as gentle as possible while still being firm. Lisa's words echo in my mind - "You can't have both anymore. It's him or me."

What she said alone didn't bother me. I didn't want both. I wanted her only. But somehow it still really unsettled me.

When I finally emerge from my room, my heart pounding in my chest, I'm met with the anticipation of an impending storm. The air in the house feels thick with unresolved tension, and it clings to me like a heavy shroud as I make my way to the front door.

Kai's car pulls up in front of the house, and my anxiety intensifies. As I step outside, I try to put on a brave face, masking my inner turmoil with a smile. Kai gets out of the car and greets me warmly, oblivious to the storm brewing beneath my calm exterior.

"Hey, beautiful," he says, leaning in for a kiss.

I turn my head, offering him my cheek instead of my lips. "Hey, Kai. You're late."

He gives me an apologetic look. "I know, I know. Work held me up. I promise I'll make it up to you."

I nod, my mind racing for a way to slip in the conversation I've been dreading. "It's okay, Kai. Listen, I have something important I want to talk to you about."