The Fallen (Part One)

Guilt

Loki watched her sleeping on the couch as he searched for something to eat in the kitchen. The Midguardian air seemed to make him incredibly hungry and there was very little he recognized but he did not have the heart to wake her. She gave him her energy even though she was low just to make him feel better.  He choose not to continue to use it, a flame was lit and burning  and he did not want to extinguish it he hoped it would continue to grow.
Loki glanced at her again she had not moved but be could see her breathing was steady.
He sat at the table finally deciding on some of the stuff she had fed him the day before, lunch meat he chewed thoughtfully it was not great but he was hungry.
Loki once again ignored the confusing feelings in his stomach that had started to migrate to his chest. She was amazing, strong, calm, selfless and dangerous if she let herself be. He found that horrible attractive.
"Shit." He whispered allowed he could not would not get attached he was a God a orphan God but a God all the same. She was nothing meaningless a mortal worse yet a Midguardian mortal silly and useless.
He was now angry with himself for thinking that about her but another part pushed at him that it was true. He was arguing with himself a sign of mental illness.
"Like that's the only sign." He whispered aloud again.
"Loki?" Nina was waking she sat up and tried to push herself to her feet she swayed he was at her side transporting to her.
Nina felt him embrace her as her legs gave out she opened her eyes his face near hers. She caught her breath at the green glow of his eyes as she looked deep into them she seemed to lose herself.
Loki couldn't help himself she was solid in his arms smelling of sweetness her lips slightly parted and her eyes deep and blue. He had no thoughts he just acted pressed his lips to hers and allowed himself to be lost.

Nina was lost as well her eyes closing, her body responding to the press of his full lips, her arms encircling his neck,her hand grasping his hair.

Loki broke the spell the guilt shoving away everything else he lowered her to the couch gently pushing her away. Almost every fiber of his being screaming at him as he did so but the small percentage winning. He was breathless he looked into her questioning gaze her own breath heavy.
"I am sorry." He straightened.
"For what?" Nina didn't understand she could feel in his kiss that it affected him too.
"Because that was a momentary lack in judgment. You are lovely but also only mortal I would be just taking advantage of a situation where there was no emotion. You have been to kind for me to use that way." With each word the look of hurt in her eyes magnified then she replaced it with blankness. He felt horrible.

Nina could feel her heart clench in her chest she was stupid and wrong he was a God she was nothing it was for the best.
"It's fine no apologies neccessary  thank you for being honest with me." She stood wobbly but when he reached out she growled at him. "No, dont."
Loki looked at the floor his fists clenching the guilt like a lead weight in his chest.
Nina pulled all her strength to push past him and disappear into her room closing the door with a click leaning her back against it.
She didn't know why it hurt why should she care he had problems he was the God of Mischief. It all should all have been obvious but it wasn't. She knew he battled with himself as to who he should be and who he was. She couldn't see the evil everyone saw she saw doubt, loss and some one searching for their place.  But it didn't matter she would help him and ignore the heat that surrounded them.

Loki still stood at the couch his fists clenched afraid to move afraid he would destroy the cabin and wanting to. He had to make a choice either he left soon or he gave in to the feeling he was starting to feel. If he kept battling himself he would destroy himself and her. But he could not help thinking wouldn't he do that if he did give in, anyway?