Backstage ◇ Charlie Gillespie

Chapter Sixteen//Love Will Turn You Around

Chapter Sixteen// Love Will Turn You Around 

Everyone had their bad days. Everyone had those times where it seemed like life was catching up with you at all either. It was hard to want to do anything on your bad days. You just wanted to sit back and watch life absorb all around you. It was hard whenever you did have good days because you couldn't enjoy them fully. Every good day was followed by many days and quite frankly you couldn't do anything about it. It was hard when those bad days were the worse and the good days weren't the best. 

Charlie had many bad days but he tried thinking of the good days as much as possible. There were times when he wanted the life he was living to go away and for him to be at home with Mama again. He really wanted that second chance with her but knew they both messed up. He couldn't go home now. He only had one home and if that was the road then that was the road. The road had many bad days but whenever it was good with his friends it was the best. It was what made the days better. It was what made Charlie better. 

He started to remember what drove him here in the first place. It only made sense that maybe he was here for a reason. The saying that things happen for a reason could be his testimony and he wouldn't even know it. Maybe it was so hard to understand at first but when he dug down deep it was the truth. This band and this tour was his destiny whether if his destiny was good or not. His life before this was surrounded by many nights laying on his bed listening to records and playing them with his guitar. He spent so many nights memorizing many songs and many bands. It has paid of in the long hall because if it wasn't for that night when he played for Vince and in Mike's place he wouldn't be here. 

He then started to think if it wasn't for that fact maybe he wouldn't be in the predicament that he is in now. He made chances to change what was going through with him but he never took it. Did he deserve any of this? Obviously not...it wasn't every day that you could play this part and know what it all meant to you. Charlie had those days and those times that he wished he didn't take Vince's offer to be the roadie or the guitar player. He wouldn't have seen those illusions and the things that weren't there. He wouldn't have seen the things that were there either. Charlie had a lot of nerve but you could only have so much nerve until that cracker broke. Bob was that cracker and he knew it. Charlie knew it because he couldn't turn out of it no matter how hard he tried. He was forced into doing this and he was forced to not let anyone know what happened because of his future. He didn't always think life was unfair but lately he couldn't help but think so. 

Charlie knew life could be this magical thing if he only tried thinking about it that way. He tried as hard as he could. He tried to be this little ball of sunshine but Bob was that person blowing out his candle. Bob was that aggressive but assertive man that Charlie couldn't say no to. It was hard to say no to the guy that gave you a shot at the cheer you want. It was hard to not give the man respect as he gave you advice and he had that charisma to him. It wouldn't make a difference if Bob was good or bad. He had that effect on so many people. Charlie really did wonder if he forced everyone else around him to take part in many other things. He wondered how many times he pushed Mike to the breaking part like yesterday or at the interview. he wondered many things but the most he wondered was what if Margot knew what Charlie was going through? Would she help him in any way? Would he get called crazy if he told her what was going on. 

Charlie looked into the window of the moving bus. He couldn't help but hate the silence that the whole ride was giving. He wanted to just do something about it. He hated what this trip was turning them into. He was suppose to grow closer with these people. It only made sense that he would try to give them a little fun or a little inspiration. Charlie looked at all the trees as they passed them. He only knew what he was trying to do. He didn't know what to do fully. He didn't know many things ever since what he went through. He only wanted the best for this trip and for this group.