Chapter 30
Love
The soft warmth of sunlight on my skin woke me. Shane's arms were around me. May mga paang nakadagan sa mga binti ko at brasong mahigpit na nakayakap sa akin.
I opened my eyes and butterflies swirled in my stomach at the sight of him peacefully sleeping. His mouth was slightly open. His hair was messed up. He laid on his stomach flexing his back muscles. Ang maamo niyang mukha ay nakaharap sa akin. I smile upon remembering how I grabbed and brushed his hair so hard with my fingers last night.
Oh my.
Napatigil ako nang makitang may mga kalmot siya sa balikat. Napakagat-labi ako. Sigurado akong hindi lang balikat niya ang kinalmot ko kagabi.
Last night was amazing. It was almost sunrise when we slept. He was gentle with me last night, always asking for permission before doing anything. I couldn't count how many times we made out last night, but he only took me twice. I felt like he wanted more, but I complained. The pain I felt afterward was overwhelming, as if it was my first time. I felt sore all over, lalo na gitnang bahago ng hita ko.
I was sure that last night wasn't the first time we did it. However, I couldn't help but question it when the pain I felt was too much for what I thought was not my first time. Honestly, I couldn't remember if we had done it before, whether it was with Axl or Shane. Or maybe I was still not used to him, even though we had already done it before.
I quickly checked if I had any dried drool on the side of my lips. Baka mamaya bigla itong magmulat ng mata. Muli ko siyang tinitigan ng masigurong maayos na ang pagmumukha ko kung sakaling bigla siyang gumising. His half open luscious lips were firm as if.. tempting me to..
Darn it! Get yourself together!
I quietly removed his arm around me then slowly and carefully slipped out of the bed so as not to wake him up. Ngunit bago pa man ako makabangon ay impit akong napasigaw sa sobrang sakit na naramdaman. Bumalik ako sa pagkakahiga at naramdamang gumalaw si Shane sa likuran ko.
"Zouie?" nahihimigan ko ang pag-alala sa boses niya. Bumangon siya at lumipat sa kabilang side ko upang maharap ako ng maayos.
"Ang sakit," tanging sambit ko dito.
Tumitig siya sa akin na parang hindi rin niya alam kung ano ang gagawin. Alam kong may alam siya kung anu ang tinutukoy ko. Nakatingin lang ako sa kanya, hinihintay kung may iba pa ba siyang gustong sabihin.
"Last night, it felt like my first time," I said.
He gently cupped my face with one palm and sweetly smiled at me. I bit my lower lip to suppress my smile despite the pain I just felt. I had no idea he could be this sweet. Axl was always sweet to me, but Shane never was. Now, it feels strange seeing Shane being extra gentle and sweet. Bigla ay naglaho ang sakit na naramdaman ko dahil sa ngiti niya.
"Yes, it was," he softly said as he looked intently into my eyes.
Napabalik ako sa huwesyo dahil sa sinabi niya.
"What?" kunot-noo kong tanong, hindi sigurado kung nariig ko siya ng maayos.
Napakamot siya sa batok at lumayo ng kaunti sa sakin. His face looked like a kid who wants to tell the truth but was scared of getting in trouble.
"It was your... first," ani niya saka mabilis na umiwas ng tingin. "We didn't happen before. Nothing happened before." Paliwanag niya na lalong nagpakunot sa noo ko.
"What do you mean? I was sure the first time I went to see you as Axl, we did it."
He bit his lower lip before he answered.
