chapter 1 :

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Take deep breaths they say...

(Deep breaths )

What if deep breaths doesn't work anymore ?

But only deep inhaling of smoke ?

(The sent of smoke covering the room )

The only thing I drink and gets me going is the bottle of achol in my drawer...

(Sound  of an bottle opening.Slowly sipping out the last small sips.)

All these thoughts in my head...

The words keep repeating in my head like an old record...


Children yelling:

Hahaha !

Look she is so fat !

My mother...struggeling to cope with the death of my father. Working day in and day out. Barely having the time...but still she tries.

My older brothers...bullies at home...as if there isn't enough of them at school already.


All my friends...slowly each of them drifting away...

And true love...

Only exsit in fairy tales...

(Standing in the rain...a tall man walking away...slowly losing his grip on the red haired girl hand)

(Deep in hales , and soft crying)

So can anyone blame me if I search some peace and happiness laying down below in pencil case allong with my sharpeners...

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