Withering You

Noah

My eyes widened in shock. You think of me as a horny shit? Is that all I'm for you? I loved you Ava. I still do. It is not just lust. And those articles I so carefully have cutouts of, didn't you write them? I was moved by your writings Ava. Every word of yours I had read travelled deep down to my heart. You lied. Everything was a lie about you. Goodness lord, Ava. You were faking it all.

I bury my face in my palms and give out a sigh. You could have done better than this Ava. At least Colin should have spoken up but that scumbag wanted sex over truth. He disgusts me. Things would have been easy for you but you made it hard. You could have done something. The school would have understood your situation if you had told them. You could have easily got rid of toxic Colin. Goodness lord, Ava.

You are frustrating me. I stand up and walk back and forth to let down the frustration. You died, Ava. You lost your life. Yes. Okay, I understand that your cheating was huge on your sight and you were scared but what the fuck Ava? Someone killed you. Is this why you were killed? Maybe if you'd known this would have happened you would have acted up.

Every what if is damaging me. You just don't know, woman. You could have faked it all but I still love you. You are messing me up. Even though you are gone, you still have the ability to mess me up. I shouldn't have let you take root in my heart. I'm unable to get rid of you. Your roots have sunken deep into all of me, pulling you out is hurting me, Ava.

You withered into nothing physically but mentally you are still living. You have become the parasite. You are the sponge that's sucking all of me in.

I need to find the man who did this to you.
I will not let them go. It irritates me greatly that I was just another horny shit in your list. I will prove my love to you. I know this is not a way to do so but I have no other way. It's not like you are living for me to impress you with letters like Colin had done. God, that letter. What was in it? Where did you put it, Ava?

Who was the other guy? I quickly go back to the sofa to grab your book. I turn the pages to where I stopped. Sebastian. I think. Sebastian. Who is Sebastian? I have not heard this name. He must have shared your english class. I can ask Colin. Noah, you are being stupid here. Obviously I can't ask Colin, it would raise his suspicion. It could be Colin. Your murderer could be Colin. It still nags me how he had acted when Roy said the cops were coming. I don't have evidence. I need more. I need to read more to find out.