Withering You

Noah

When I had informed my parents I'm going to school. They had exchanged a look, they probably think dad's talk had worked. It's better that way. I can't explain to them what I'm going to do. Dad is right, by time I won't feel what I am feeling for you right now, and before you fade away I need to step up and start working.

I see Roy getting down from his car. I jog up to him.

"Roy!"

He turns to me with a nod. He seems to be dull too. You have left everyone sad.

"So you planned to show up today."

"I need to tell you something," I gesture to him to follow me to a quiet place.

"Yeah, you said that yesterday," he grumbles out a response as he follows me.

I explain things to him. I don't tell him about the reasons behind your death. I tell him that I suspect it's a murder.

"Are you kidding me? Why would anyone want to kill her?"

"That's what we are going to find out," I say adjusting my bag on my shoulders, "I saw her throw the letter Colin gave inside the locker-"

"Dude, I told you. There was nothing on that letter that would get her murdered," Roy interrupts me, shaking his head.

"We should look again, Roy." More like I need to look. I need to make sure it was that letter you'd read. "I need your help to find out her locker combination. Please, don't say no." If he says no, I would be left alone.  I don't know how to do everything that I had planned in my head without his help.

"You suspect Colin?" Roy asks but I don't answer. Roy shares loyalty to Colin as well, I would be a fool to declare my suspicion out loud to him.

"We know not if there was another letter. Will you help me, or not?"

He is thinking and I don't think I can count my lucky stars now. It's okay. I'll do it myself for you.

I was about to backtrack when he said, "Do you remember last year?"

I frown at him in confusion. What's he talking about?

"What are you saying?" I ask.

"Last year I had a different locker. Remember?"

"We all have different lockers every year. What kind of stupid question are you asking, Roy?"

He laughs, "Dumb ass. You are not thinking. Last year I had Ava's locker."

I step back from him in happiness.

"Tell me you remember the combination," I had never wanted to hug Roy before till now.

"How can I forget it? I used that locker for a whole damn year."

* * *

I stay guard as he fumbles with the lock.

"Hurry up, someone might come," I hiss at him. We had skipped classes, hid in the bathroom till everyone was out of our way. Only after the last bell did we come out.

I look around hastily to see if someone's coming. I don't want the principal to catch us like this. Sometimes I'm confused.  I think I have lost it and I don't understand why I'm doing this. But it's okay, anything is worth doing for you.

"It's not opening up," Roy says in a frustrated tone.

"What the fuck? You said you know the combination." I'm just panicked. We'll get this open. We will.

"I know what to do."

Roy looks around before punching the locker door hard. Metal rattling echoes around the corridor. I cringe. We could have done this with everyone looking, there is no difference.

"Soon. Someone might come to check what the noise was." I am jumping next to him with nerves. He seemed to be collected. He tries the locker again and the locker door gives away.

Roy turns around with a smile, "I did it."

"Move, quick." I push him out of the way and look inside the locker. It's full of you. Your books. Your sticky notes pasted here and there to remind you of something. I try hard not to get lost in here with you. I push the books aside.  I'm looking for that balled up white paper.

"Here, hold these," I passed Roy some of your books. I pushed things away to make sure the letter wasn't stuck anywhere.  I move to the second shelf.  Where did it go, Ava? Where is that paper? Roy taps on my shoulder urgently.

"Wait, Roy. I still didn't find it," I pushed away your tiny artificial flower pot.

"What are you two doing here without being at class?"

I freeze. Oh god, Ava. Shit. I turn to find your english teacher. What was his name?

"I uh-we-" Roy was stumbling on his words.

"Roy wasn't feeling well. I'm looking for his tablets," I lie out fast and give a look at Roy. He starts to cough.

Your english teachers' brows furrows. Does he know this is your locker? I straighten up, looking confident. His eyes fall on your open locker. Hopefully he doesn't find a hair clip or something. Thank you so much for not having any Harry Styles posters like other girls.

"You get back to class now." He points at me before moving to Roy, "You get to the nurse."

We nod but don't move. I wait till he leaves but he seems to have the same idea.

"Now," he emphasizes the word.

I quickly turned around to close your locker door but stopped. I spot the book you always write on. The book you carry with you during lunch break. I always had wondered what you would have written in it. Maybe I would find something useful in it. I swiftly grab it and close your locker door shut.

Roy and I hastily walk away from your english teacher. I carry your book plastered on my stomach, hidden by my hand. When we had turned a corridor I showed Roy your book. His eyes widened in shock.

"Is that hers?" Roy asks.

"Yeah, dumb. She always writes in it. I'll go home and read." I put your book safely in my bag.