Withering You

Noah

"Why did you tell him that we don't have the letters?" Roy sounded pissed. I don't answer.

We were driving back home. I press on the side button to let the window down. I lean out the window and close my eyes. I see Saige's multicolored skirt. I don't force myself to think of you. Open yourself for another love story. I smile.  Despite everything I smile at the thought of Saige.

Jason wouldn't have lied, Ava. It was the way he carried himself, it was in his eyes. And I believe you wouldn't have lied too. Maybe you made a mistake. You messed up the details when you were writing. That's the only possible explanation.

"Those letters," Roy continues, "you should have seen Ava reading Jason's letter by the locker that day and not Colin's."

I smile at him. You were done messing my head, now you have moved into Roy's. I give him a nod. He wouldn't like me going silent for a long time. I owe him that much for helping me with Jason. I don't think I would have got a hair out of Jason without him. 

"Leave it," I say to him. I have waited all these days not knowing and I'll continue living like this. I'm used to it. I don't want him to go around thinking about you. Jealous much? No, Ava. I don't want him to be tortured like me to find out the truth. It's enough with me.

"How can I leave it? He was lying all these while-"

"Leave it, Roy. If I'm to be pissed at him then I should be the same with you for what you did. Let's be just here, shall we?" I try not to sound sarcastic.

Roy keeps quiet for some time before starting up again. I nodded at all the right places to keep him from questioning me.

I go back to thinking about my suspects. It wasn't Jason. I don't know about Colin. Roy seems genuinely hurt about your loss. I am not sure if someone named Sebastian even exists. I don't know who the murderer is but it's okay. It's okay because my mind is filled with Saige to think of anything else.

With Roy's background rumblings about Jason, I think of heading towards Laura's in the evening. I don't have Saige's number to call and ask her to come for my graduation. You know me, I wouldn't have called her even if I had her number. Is asking someone to come to your graduation considered a date? Maybe I should ask Laura first and then say Saige can come too if she is free. Delighted with my new idea, I sit back and enjoy the wind on my face. I didn't know I would feel at peace thinking about Saige. I should be frustrated about not having a clue about your murderer but I think I deserve a break. Sorry, Ava.