Lover| IT

Remembering

E.K

I'm sat in the library and I'm nervous. What if these people don't show up? What if they think I'm weird? I mean, I'm a complete stranger who randomly wrote a letter to them because we lived in the same town.

"Edward Kaspbrak?" I hear someone say. I look up and see a man walking towards me. He has curly brown hair and he looks nervous. There's also scars on his face. He looks familiar. He's wearing a flannel shirt and black jeans.

"Yes. That's me." I say, shaking his hand.

"Stanley Uris." He greets and I smile. I feel a lot calmer now Stanley is here." I've gotta say. I'm a little confused."

"You aren't the only one." Comes a voice. I'm guessing this is Beverly. She has long auburn hair and bright green eyes. She's wearing a floral dress. She is pretty but I wouldn't say I'm attracted to her. Like I was attracted to Richie. Shut up, Eddie. You aren't attracted to men." Beverly Marsh. Hello."

"Hi, Eddie Kaspbrak." I say as Stan and I shake her hand.

"Stanley Uris." He says.

"Oh so you're the one who sent the letter." Someone says.  I turn to see a man walking towards us and holy shit. He's hot. Shut up Eddie. Shut up.

"Yeah that's me." I say as he joins us.

"Ben Hanscom." He greets and we all shake his hand. He's wearing a white T-shirt under a denim jacket and some pants." This is all so confusing."

"Yuh- you're telling muh-muh-me." Someone stammers. The stammer feels familiar. We turn to see a man walking over to us wearing a shirt and pants. I'm glad I'm not the only one dressed smart. Except I have a tie on and he doesn't.

"Bill." Beverly says and they look at one another, trying to recognise eachother.

"Beverly." He says.

"And Richie!" Comes a voice and I roll my eyes without even realising. Richie is walking over to us, dressed in another awful Hawaiian shirt with some jeans. He's also carrying what looks like a year book. He stands beside me and all I can smell is cigarette smoke.

"Way to make an entrance, Trashmouth." Stan chuckles and then he stops. We all stare at one another, highly confused. We're falling back into a familiar dynamic but we don't know one another.

R.T

Let's get one thing clear. I'm not gay. I can remember everything from my childhood. We've been in the library for two hours, looking at my senior year year book. All of the memories can flooding back and I can remember everything. Including how badly I was bullied for the rumour about me being gay. I'm not gay. I know that for a fact.

I glance at Eddie and he's laughing at Stan. I've sort of missed the way his nose crinkles as he laughs and how infectious his laugh is. It's still quite high pitched and I realise how much I've missed it. How much I've missed him. I've missed his cute little laugh and his adorable frown when I annoy him. I've missed him ranting at 100 mph. I've just missed everything about him.

"Do you still wear those shorts?" I ask Eddie. He looks at me, raising an eyebrow. Holy shit. That was attractive. I'm not gay, brain, shut up." When we were kids you wore those really short biking shorts. Like you still wore them in senior year."

And god did they make his legs look good when we were in Highschool. Stop it, Richie. I don't find Eddie attractive.

"Why'd you want to know that?" Eddie asks and Stanley shoots me a knowing look. Oh fuck, does that make me seem like I'm into him.

"Curiosity." I reply after a short silence.

"Well, I do when I go on a run at the weekend." Eddie replies and its Beverly who gives me a knowing look this time. I shrug and awkwardly stare at my photo in the year book. It was only two years ago but I've already changed a lot. For starters, braces. My dads a dentist and insisted I got them, despite me declining the offer. I don't wear my retainer and my teeth have moved and I think my dad knows but doesn't mention anything about it. Also, my acne has cleared up slightly. Only slightly. I still get it bad sometimes. Mostly due to stress.

"So, how's everyone been?" Ben asks curiously. We all look at him." It's been two years since we've seen one another. I want to know everything. Who is single and who isn't. How your parents are. All that stuff."

"I'm single." I state.

"Me too" Beverly says and I grin, happy for that fact. We can be single bitches together.

"I have a girlfriend." Stanley announces and I'm happy for him. My oldest friend is happy and so I'm happy." Her name is Patricia and she is amazing. We've been together for just over a year. A year and six months."

"Wow, Stan the Man. That's amazing." I say.

"I ah-asked Audra Phillips out oh-on a date." Bill stammers and we all smile at him. I know Audra. She's in my class. Looks at lot like Beverly. She's very talented and very pretty but I'm not attracted to her.

"I'm single." Ben says and Beverly and I cheer, glad to have another person in the single gang." What about you, Eddie?"

"I have a girlfriend." He says and I feel disappointed. Why do I feel disappointed? I should be happy for him." Myra Jones. She does the business course. We've been together for nine months."

Eddie looks awkward for a second, like he's uncomfortable talking about his girlfriend. Which then makes me question if he's happy with her. But, it isn't any of my business so I'll keep out of it.

"Fuck! I told her I'd go to her dorm to check on her. If I don't she'll have a melt down!" He says, standing up and tucking his chair in. That's the cue for us all to leave.

We all split off our separate ways, agreeing to see one another again soon, but I stay with Eddie as he's walking in the direction of my dorm block.

"Want me to come with you?" I ask, shoving my hands in my pocket. I regret not bringing my new leather jacket with me. It's cold for September.

"Why?" Eddie asks.

"Why not? We used to do everything together. I want to meet your girlfriend. You've never had a girlfriend before, Eddie spaghetti." I state in response. Eddie rolls his eyes and I try to hide my grin and ignore the feeling of butterflies in my stomach.

"No. If you show up she'll...she'll get angry." He says and I raise an eyebrow. I better back down. I don't want him to be mad at me when we've just reunited.

"Well, okay. Night, Eds." I say as we reach the door for my dorm block.

"Don't call me that." He mumbles." Goodnight, Richie."

I want to hug him. We used to be physically affectionate all the time. But two years could change a person and I don't know if Eddie is still like that. I wave to him and he walks off silently to visit his girlfriend.

I enter my dorm and sigh. I can't believe Eddie has a girlfriend. I don't know why I'm not happy for him. I should be so happy for him having his first girlfriend. But I don't feel happy. I'm filled with dread. No no, not dread. Anger? Definitely not. It's jealousy.

I'm jealous.