Lover| IT

Ending 1, part 2

R.T

I feel numb as we sit in the quarry, trying to wash ourselves clean. I'm cleaning my glasses, where one of the lenses is cracked and there's some blood on them. I go to clean it off, but I don't. It's Eddie's blood and I just...can't bring myself to clean it off. I sigh and just continue to clean the other lense. The non cracked one.

"You know what? Eddie would've hated this guys." Ben says sadly and I don't wanna think about this. My chest feels heavy and my heart is aching. My face hurts from crying and my throat is sore and scratchy from screaming. He also wouldn't hated being left in the cistern!

"What? Cleaning ourselves in dirty water?" Bill asks and he chuckles slightly. I don't know why they're all okay after that. I don't know why I'm the only one who cares that Eddie is gone.

"Yeah." Ben says with a small smile. Am I missing something? Am I the only one distraught by this?

"He'd be telling us we'd get streptococcal something." Beverly says with a grin as she washes her arms. Bill chuckles. Oh god I can feel myself starting break down. The tears are there and my breathing his heavy.

"But he would've made us laugh, though." Mike smiles. This isn't a fucking pool party. I want Eddie back! I want Stanley back too. I want them both.

"Oh yeah." Beverly agrees.

"He'd be looking out for us. The way he always was." Bill says and my heart sinks. I feel sick. A tear falls from my eye and I wipe it away. Everyone nods, agreeing with Bill." Ain't that right, Richie?"

As all eyes turn to me, I can't hold it in anymore. A sob escapes and I drop my glasses in the water as I begin to break down.

"Hey." Beverly says softly. I feel strong hands on my back, which is Mike. Bill wraps himself around my arm and so does Beverly. Bill holds onto my hand whilst Ben stands beside Beverly, trying to comfort me and I just sob.

I'm the one they turn to to lighten the mood. I'm the joker of the pack. That's my role. But I can't joke. All I can do is cry and I can't be strong and they see that. So they just hold me and let me cry without judging. I look at them, tears rolling down my face, and I realised in that moment that they love an accept me. They'll never judge me. They'll never hurt me.

"Thank you." I croak out, sniffing." I don't have my glasses on so I don't know who you people are, but thank you."

They all laugh and I'm glad I still have my sense of humour. Eddie wouldn't want me to lose that. It's the only thing I've got going for myself.

"I legit can't find my glasses." I say seriously, rubbing my eyes. My face aches from crying. I feel exhausted. Mix the amount I've cried to the lack of sleep I've had in the last 72 hours is how exhausted I am.

"Oh you were serious." Ben says.

"You're serious?" Beverly asks and they all look around." Glasses?"

"They were around here somewhere." Bill says, diving under water and splashing us. Beverly pats me on the arm and they all go and search for my glasses. I smile, thankful for my friends.

I wonder if they remember college too. It makes me sad Eddie didn't remember. Didn't remember that once upon a time, he loved me. That's almost enough to set me off crying again but Ben and Beverly come up out of the water, my glasses in Ben's hand.