Lover| IT

The woman I want you to be

2016-

B.D

I don't get why I have to rewrite the ending for the movie adaptation of one of my books. It's not even a bad ending. I don't get why people say that about my endings. Life sucks. Get over it.

I'm sat in my trailer, staring blankly at the wall with my glasses on my forehead, like I have been for the past two hours. They need it finished tonight. My laptops open but I'm not staring at it. The wall is more amusing. There's a knock on the door and I jump, causing my glasses to slide down over my eyes. I lean forward and look at the laptop screen, acting like I've been writing this whole time. I'm pressing random keys to try and seem convincing. My wife is the actress. Not me.

"Yeah." I mumble and in walks one of the set assistants.

"Mr Denbrough? They need you on set." She says and I look at her, rubbing my hands together. I smile and stand up, sliding my glasses onto the hem of my shirt. I grab the book that they're adapting and follow her to the studio. My wife Audra and I moved to LA not that long ago." We're just going to go this way."

The door starts to close and I rush over to it, ducking under like a scene out of Indiana Jones and standing up straight. The assistant gets caught outside and I get yelled at by some guy.

"Oh come on, you never seen Indiana Jones?" I ask, almost walking into an intern with a trolley of tea and coffee. I let them past and spot Audra. I walk over to her, book tightly in hand.

"Hey hey, are you a crew member?" Someone asks me. Why is everyone in my business today?

"I'm...the writer." I reply. My stutter completely cleared up during college and I am so glad it did. I manage to reach Audra and she's getting ready to film, looking in a small compact mirror and practising her crying face. She's covered in fake blood.

"Your husbands here." An assistant whispers and the makeup artists leave. Audra smiles and puts the mirror away, greeting me with a small smile.

"Hey!" Do you have the pages?" She asks, walking over to me. No, 'hi Bill how was your day?' Or 'would you like a hug?'Just 'where's the pages?'

"Everyone keep clear of the crane!" A woman instructs as I'm almost crushed by the lowering crane. I move out the way. I really hate this place. The director is sat on the crane with the camera.

"My friend, a film needs an ending." He says to me. Why can't you just use the one I've already written?" You do know that, right?"

"Oh yeah." I reply, furrowing my brows and nodding.

"You said that you needed another day to finish the pages. We're shooting this thing...it's tonight!" Audra presses on.

"That's like, seventeen hours." I state. I don't get why she's being so fussy.

"Everybody calm down, okay?" The director asks.

"I'm calm." I reply, forcing a smile. Just keep it together, William. Keep it together.

"I want you to be happy with the movie. You understand? I'm on your side." The director explains. I didn't even want this book to be adapted into a film. I didn't want any of my books to be adapted but Audra pushed for it because she wanted to star in them.

"That's great. 'Cause in my book, the ending..." I begin. I just want my ending.

"Is terrible." The director says and I try not to get agitated by his words. This whole thing sucks." All due respect, people loved your book. Loved. They hated the ending!"

"You said you like the ending." I scoff but I try to play it off as a nervous chuckle.

"That was a lie." He says and I just blink at him, slightly hurt." We gotta do better, okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah." I say, giving in. God I hate all this fuss.

"Audra, you have my notes." The director says and we both look towards her. She smiles a little, nodding." Would you...okay, thank you very much. Take me back to one, please."

"Bye." I say as the crane goes up. Then I shove my hands in my pockets, looking at my wife." So, you have his notes?"

"He's not wrong." She replies. Okay now that hurts. What the fuck? Thanks Audra.

"You hate my endings too?" I ask, trying not to sound disappointed. But it fails and she can see through the facade.

"Not all your endings." Audra replies." But this...

"Okay!" I say, walking away and over to the snack table. Audra follows me and I kinda wish she hadn't.

"Just...what? Do you want me to keep lying to you?" She asks as we reach the snack table. I look over at everything. I'm not actually hungry." Just because I'm your wife?"

"You're my wife?" I respond at the same time. She raises her eyebrows." No. No. But you know what? You've been blowing smoke up my ass for eight years? I guess I thought you were someone else."

"I have not been blowing smoke up your ass!" Audra retaliates and she sounds offended. Why am I the bad guy in this situation?

"Everybody wants a happy ending. Everybody wants closure. But that's not the way life works out." I state, pouring myself a drink whilst Audra eats some celery.

"I think what Peter wants and what the studio wants..." She begins. Okay what the fuck? This is my movie. No one else's. This is my story!

"The studio? When'd you become a company man? Jesus, you're an artist!" I explode and I'm not thinking about what I'm saying." Come on. What's wrong with just doing it the way it's written? The way I wanted. What's wrong with being the woman I want you to be?!"

"Fuck you, Bill!" Audra snaps. Fuck. I didn't mean that. I meant the part she's playing. Fuck!

"I-juh-on-on the page. The part, I mean. Not you." I stammer and then my phone rings. Saved by the fucking bell. I sigh and pull my phone out of my pocket. Unknown number. Great. Audra walks off in a strop.

I roll my eyes and make my way to the emergency exit for some privacy. It's a relatively warm day today. I answer the call and place the phone to my ear.

"Hello?" I ask.

"Bill Denbrough. It's Mike."

"Mike who?" I ask, the name familiar from somewhere.

"Mike Hanlon. From Derry."

I groan in pain as there's a sharp feeling in my palm. Like somethings cutting it. I look up and breathe deeply, wincing slightly. What the fuck? There's a scar there. What the hell?

"You need to come home."

Home? What does he mean by home? Why is there a scar on my hand? Why do I recognise Mike? And why am I scared?