Lover| IT

You Made a Promise, Beverly!

B.M

I am so so thankful for Kay. Without her, I don't know what I'd do. In the last three hours I've remembered some parts of my childhood, had a scar reappear on my palm and escaped the clutches of my abusive husband, leaving behind him and my wedding ring.

"Wait, so go over what happened." Kay says as I clutch the coffee in my palms, shaking slightly. I'm only in my pyjamas and it was raining when I walked here so I am freezing cold and stressed.

Not Stan. Anyone but Stan. I don't even know who Stan is but I've just seen him die. I...I can't believe this. My phone starts to buzz so I get out of bed, sitting down on the chair in my closet and looking out of the window at the rain.

"Beverly Marsh. This is Mike Hanlon."

"Who?" I ask. I can't quite remember. There's too many things racing through my mind." What's happening?"

"You made a promise, Beverly!"

"I'm so sorry, Mike. I-I don't even...really...remember." I say, anxious energy rushing through me.

"Haven't you ever wondered why you can't seem to remember the things most people should...about where they're from? About who they are? Why you have that scar on your hand!"

As if on cue, there's a sharp pain on my palm. I open my hand up and look at it. Sure enough, there it is. A scar I forgot I had. I just stare at it in amazement.

"No one else remembered either. Eddie, Ben, Stan, Richie...Bill."

"Bill?" I say out loud, not even sure why I said it.

"You have to come back. You all do."

"When?" I breathe out.

"Tomorrow. See you then, Bev."

And with that the line goes dead. I'm suddenly filled with determination. I grab a bag and start shovelling items in. I zip up the bag and, I go to go into the main room but Tom in the doorway makes me jump. I gasp and he looks at me tiredly.

"Woah, are you okay?" He asks, a little startled himself." What's going on? It's the middle of the night. You're packing."

"I didn't want to wake you." I reply, kissing him quickly before I go into the room, placing the bag down on the bed, sitting down on it myself." Honey, I know this weeks been really exhausting but I just got a phone call from an old friend from Derry. I have to go back there. It's really hard to explain why."

"It's okay." Tom says. He sits down beside me and I smile, unknown to whats to come." You don't have to explain yourself to me. Relax. I trust you."

"Thank you." I say, kissing him.

"That was bullshit right there!" Kay roars and I flinch slightly. She notices." Sorry sorry. But like, he's an asshole! What happened then?"

"He grabbed my wrist, pulled my hair, said I cheated on him when I didn't. I fought back. I-I scratched him but then-then came the-the belt." I explain, hyperventilating. Kay holds my hand gently as I explain." I manage to wriggle free and...I-I hit him over the head with a-a photo frame."

'Just like you hit your dad over the head with a toilet panel!' A voice inside says. I shiver and ignore it.

"I grabbed my bag and I just ran. I placed my wedding ring on the steps of the house and-and just got out of there. Then I-I walked here." I explain, crying and hyperventilating.

"Deep breaths and drink your coffee slowly, calm down. Everything will be okay. You've finally left that...that monster." Kay says and I manage a smile." You're strong and you are brave, Beverly. Don't let anyone tell you differently."

"Thanks, Kay." I sigh and she smiles. We talk for a little while longer before she goes off to bed, leaving me alone to book my flights for Derry.

R.T

I'm on a plane and my mind is racing. It was difficult explaining to Steve what I had to leave for. I said a reunion, which is half true, but I don't think he believed me.

I have felt like there's been someone missing in my life. Like I've missed someone I don't even know and that's a scary feeling. Like I loved someone, along time ago, and I just can't remember them. I want to remember. I really do. But my brain goes foggy.

I can remember how they made me feel. They made me feel brave. They made me feel loved. They helped me see life with a brighter outlook and encouraged me to reach my goals. I remember how their lips felt against mine. Theirs were soft and gentle and tasted slightly of herbal tea. They loved their herbal tea.

I don't know where these feelings are coming from. I don't remember experiencing them. I can't put a face to the person in my mind. The person I had my first time with. The person I slow danced with. The person I cuddled with at night. None of it is coming back to me. Maybe that means it didn't happen and my subconscious is playing tricks on me. Oh god. Does that mean I'm going insane? Am I that far in the closet I'm making up scenarios that never even happened?!

"Are you okay, sir?" A woman sat beside me asks. I look at her and realise I've dug my nails into the arm rests really hard. Plus, I'm breathing quite heavily.

"I-I'm okay. Thanks." I lie, forcing a grin. Get a grip, Tozier. Don't have a public freak out. You've already embarrassed yourself enough by messing up that show. You fucking idiot!

I stare at the scar on my palm. I vaguely remember a promise and a boy in a flannel shirt cutting my palm. I remembering holding the cast arm of another boy. A face and a name I cannot remember, but I remember his hand in mine. Cast and everything. He feels familiar. I'm sure it was his lips against mine at one point. But I cannot remember him for the life of me.