Lover| IT

Visiting parents

R.T

Okay I think I might be gay. I give up trying to hide it. I really think I am gay. I woke up this morning, cuddling Eddie, and my heart near damn exploded. He's so perfect and we slot together in a hug perfectly. I think I've always loved him. For as long as I can remember. I just tried to hide it due to the bullying. I suppose I've always been attracted to men.

Oh I hate this. This is new yet not. Admitting it is difficult and I don't think I can actually bring myself to say it aloud. All I know is that I'm in love with the man I'm hugging.

I move my leg slightly and it hits Eddie's a little and my breath hitches in my throat. He's still asleep so I listen to his sleeping breath gently. I don't dare move. I don't want to wake him up. It's a Saturday, so we luckily don't have class. But I don't know if he's visiting his mom. All I know is that I'm supposed to be visiting my parents at some point today. They don't live too far away from campus. Maybe about half an hour.

Eddie eventually wakes up after an hour of me just lying silently, drowning in my own thoughts. A lot of them not kid friendly. My arms numb from where he's be lying on it. But I don't complain. He looks at me, his eyes droopy and his hair a mess of waves. His hair is really wavy when it's untamed. God he's so cute when he's just woken up.

"Good morning." I greet. He yawns and itches his neck.

"Yeah. Mornin' Rich." He grumbles and I move my arm just as he lies back down, half closing his eyes." What're your plans for this fine Saturday?"

"Seeing my parents." I reply and Eddie smiles a little. He used to get on so well with my mom and dad. I doubt they remember Derry. But I could tell them I made new friends. I was struggling with that part of college life. Sure, I have Steve. But only Steve. Being just Steve and myself can be lonely. I'm sick of being lonely.

"Sounds exciting. How are they?" He asks and I allow myself to grin. Sure, I'm in love with him. But this doesn't have to be awkward. Especially as he doesn't know and he definitely doesn't know about that carving I did of our initials on the kissing bridge in Derry when I was 13. Guess I've always known I was in love with him from that one small 'fuck you' to the homophobic town of Derry, Maine. Where my worst nightmare was people finding out I'm gay. Now I'm actually letting myself admit it. To a certain extent.

"They're good. Dads still a dentist. Moms still a receptionist. I'm still their son." I reply and Eddie lets out a small chuckle. My stomach does somersaults." How's your mom...and I mean that in a non jokey way."

"She's...the same as she's always been. But, uh, she's sick. Cancer. They don't think she has long left." Eddie explains and he looks a little sad. But not as sad as I thought someone would be about a parent dying. I don't know what I'd do if I lost mine. But, then again, my parents and I get on well. Eddie and his mom don't.

"Do you wanna get breakfast?" I ask as Eddie gets out of my bed. I sit up and stretch.

"Can't, I have to go apologise to Myra." He explains and I stare at him. He looks at me and raises an eyebrow. Please stop doing that Eddie. For the life of me. I beg you to stop doing that attractive eye brow raise.

"Why do you have to apologise? She was the one who yelled at you." I state and Eddie sighs, a little agitated. He has a very short fuse. It doesn't take much to make him angry. He wasn't angry yesterday. He was hurt and upset and I could tell because of the way he was crying.

When Eddie cries because he's angry, he rants whilst doing it. If he cries whilst happy, he's obviously grinning like an idiot. But if he cries because he's sad, he quiet and just wants someone to hug him close. At least that's what he's like with me. Stanley went to comfort him in a hug once in junior year and Eddie practically bit his head off. I hate to admit I found that attractive.