The Love We Found

Chapter 27

Axel's POV:

I was gently roused from sleep by Grant shaking my arm. I opened my eyes and sighed. Another day.

"Come on, We gotta get going. The Gang is going to help us move things into the new house and then we are going to all head to the club. Let's take your pills and get dressed."

He gently pulled me into a sitting position. All week has been like this. I have very little motivation to actually get up and move. He helps me start the day with my pills and gets me dressed and drags me to my feet so I have to start moving. School and home have been difficult. Everything either pisses me off or makes me cry. Or I feel blank. It's almost like I can't remember how to smile or laugh.

"Here you go." He handed me my pills after dressing me and while I took them he attached my knee brace.

I handed him the water and let him pull me to my feet. "Go use the bathroom and brush your teeth and I'll get your breakfast started."

"No." I protested.

"Hey, we talked about this. Baby steps. I will be down stairs. I'm not leaving without you."

"I said no."

"Axel, I know this is hard for you but we talked about this, we can't always be in the same room, and after yesterday's freak out during first period, we agreed to try a few minutes with you alone here and there while in the same house. You can do this."

Yesterday had been going okay, I took my pills, I ate as much as I could, I was in a good mood, I even said I love you to both Grant and Maddi as we all said goodbyes. But five minutes into class I could feel the Panic rising. I raised my hand to go to the bathroom and Mrs. Martin denied me, telling me to finish my test first. I tried. I tried really hard to focus on the stupid paper but it was like looking at a foreign language. I raised my hand again and Mrs. Martin told me to put it down.

"NO. I NEED TO GO TO THE FUCKING BATHROOM." I pretty much screamed.

"Axel, I told you to finish your test."

"I don't care about this stupid test." I crumpled it up and threw it at the board. "I'm going to the bathroom. Now."

I gathered my things and stormed out of the room. Jaxon followed shortly after and he and I went into the bathroom where he helped talk me through my panic attack. We stayed in the bathroom until the door slammed open and Grant rushed in.

"Jaxon and I took care of yesterday. I'm fine. But stay here. Please." I pleaded.

"No. I'm going into the kitchen to make you breakfast. You are going to use the bathroom and brush your teeth then come find me."

"NO." I shoved him.

"Breathe."

"Stop telling me what to do. Just sit the fuck down and let me use the bathroom."

"No."

I clenched my jaw. "Fine. THEN LEAVE!" I stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door.

I used the toilet and washed my hands. I looked in the mirror and took in my appearance. I was severely pale. Paler than normal, making my lips appear redder than usual. My hair was a mess, my eyes were red rimmed and dull, there was no light in them. The bones in my jaw were visible as I clenched my teeth. I looked like a corpse. In a way I was. The life that was once a part of me was gone. If it wasn't for my parent's, Grant, and Jaxon I would be laid up in bed. Maybe not even actually breathing.