The Love We Found

Chapter 18

Grants POV:

After I felt Axel relax and could tell he was passed out I gently cleaned him up. I was going to massage him once I had him laying in the bed. He lasted longer than I thought he would and I can tell that even though he safe worded that he was in sub space. He most likely will be in sub space even when he wakes up. Once I was sure he was clean I carefully stood up and got him wrapped in a towel. I carried him to the bed and laid him down then dried myself off before drying him off and laying him onto his stomach. I walked back into the bathroom and grabbed the muscle relaxing oil. upon returning to Axel he had curled up and scrunched his face up in discomfort. I carefully got him back into a position that I could massage him in.

I gently worked out all the knots in his arms, back and legs. Using the oil so he wont feel too stiff and in pain when he wakes up. Once I finished the massage I wiped the oil from his body as well as my hands before texting Kyle to send a fruit plate down so I can feed him when he wakes up. I got dressed before carefully dressing Axel and laying him on his back, I went into the duffel bag that I keep in here and grabbed a binky and a stuffed animal and placed them next to him on the bed before going and unlocking the main door. There was a small table inside the main door that they could set the fruit plate on.  I was getting my phone from the dresser in the room when I heard Axel stirring. I made my way to the bed and crouched next to him. Running my hand through his hair I whispered praises to him. Letting him know he was a good boy and so handsome and loving. Things like that. When he finally opened his eyes and looked at me I could tell he was definitely still in sub space.

"Hey, Baby. You hungry?"

"Nsichdo"

"It's okay. Want me to lay with you for a little bit?"

He nodded and looked around before his eyes landed on his binky and the stuffed animal.

"You can have them. They're yours." I whispered. I helped him put the binky in his mouth and wrap the stuffed animal into his arms. I watched as he sat up and looked around the room.
"What do you want, baby boy?

" movie. Sophie." He mumbles around the binky.

"We can go upstairs and watch a movie with Sophie."

He nodded and let me pick him up so he was cuddled into my chest and hiding his face. He whined as I moved him but quickly settled into his position and pressed his nose into my neck. I slowly made my way from my playroom up the stairs to kyles office. I knew that Sophie was already watching a cartoon based on the volume of the movie coming through the door. I slowly opened the door and walked in.

"Hey guys? Mind if we join? Axel would like to watch a movie with Sophia."

"Of course. Come on in."

I went to put Axel on the couch next to Sophie when he freaked out.

"No no no. Bad boy. Bad boy no get cuddle?"

"No. Baby, we can cuddle, you're not a bad boy."

"Bad boy cuddle?" He asked nodding his head and looking at me wide eyed.

"We can cuddle, but you're a good boy. You're Daddy's good boy."

"No no. I bad."

"No. You're not. Come here let's cuddle and watch toy story with Sophie. Okay?"

"Otay." He pouted.

About halfway through the movie he had ditched the binky and was kinda slowly trying to move off my lap. I could tell he was out of sub space now, and he was feeling awkward about how he had acted since he was trying to distance himself without me noticing, which he has done several times since I've known him. Anytime he was embarrassed or feeling awkward in a situation he tried to slowly get away without it being noticed.

"Hey, stay on my lap. You're fine." I whispered in his ear. I felt him tense up.

"I have to pee." He said quickly standing up and basically running to the bathroom. I watched him go intensely.

"What is that about?" Kyle asked.

"Anytime he feels embarrassed or awkward about something he runs away. Today was the first time he fully slipped into sub space and he never fully acted like a child so he's feeling awkward. I can just tell."

"He going to be okay?"

"I'm gonna give him a few minutes to try and calm himself before following. I don't want to push him too hard so I'm gonna give him a chance to gather himself first."

Kyle nodded. "You don't think he will hurt himself do you?"

"No, he might cry, I'm just gonna wait three minutes or so and if he hasn't come out I'm gonna go make sure he's not having a panic attack."

He nodded in understanding before turning back to the movie with Sophia.

Axel's POV:

I practically ran to the bathroom after announcing I had to pee. Why I did that I don't know. As if that alone wasn't embarrassing, nope I just had to be a weirdo and do strange things while I felt all fuzzy and felt like I had no control. I was acting like a three year old.

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" I asked sliding down the wall in the corner of the bathroom, curling in on myself. I felt tears burning my eyes and let them fall as I laid my forehead against my knees.

I don't know why I freaked out in the strip club when the guy tapped me. I don't know what I was thinking hitting Kyle, hell, I don't know what I was thinking punching and kicking walls and talking back to Grant. If he hadn't of grabbed my throat the way he did I don't think I would have listened to him.

And don't even get me started on how childlike I was acting after the punishment. I'm never clingy and ever since we started coming to the club I've been getting clingy and just being so friggen awkward.

I was brought out of my thoughts by a knock on the door. I didn't move just listened.

"Baby? Can I come in?"

I cleared my throat, "yeah."

I heard the door open and shut before there was footsteps and he slid down the wall so he was sitting next to me.

"Wanna talk about it?" He questioned. I could feel his gaze on the side of my head.

"I'm sorry."

"Hey, look at me. What for?" He asked after I looked over to him.

"Everything. Acting out. Hitting you, hitting Kyle, screaming, getting a tattoo, being awkward and clingy and baby like and and and..."

"Hey hey hey. Shhh." He wrapped his arm around me and brought his head closer to mine. "I expect you to be clingy and baby like. I know how you are, you don't have to apologize for feeling awkward or embarrassed about something after you've done it. You're human, sometimes you can't control your feelings. The freak out you had was kinda my fault. I should have punished you when you asked for it. As for the tattoo thing... I don't have to like that you did it but it's actually kind of hot. Besides I like the meaning behind it. Gives you something to focus on when you're feeling down or crappy and feel like you can't come to me. I know you feel a little weird cause it's the first time you went fully into sub space. It's weird at first. But don't be ashamed of how you act while in that space even if it's different from your normal headspace. It won't always be like that but you were scared that the punishment wasn't enough and you still felt like you were bad. That's okay, that's why I'm here. For comfort, someone to confide in, anything you need. But you need to stop running and hiding. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Now wipe your tears and give me a kiss. Because I love you. Clingy awkwardness and all."

I laughed, wiping my face. "Shut up."

I looked at him and let him pull me into a kiss.

"I love you, too, Daddy."