The Love We Found

Chapter 45

Axel's POV: 

"So... we actually have some exciting news we wanted to share with you guys." My Mom said as we all were chatting over dinner. 

"Oh, Yeah?" My Dad said. 

"Yeah, you all know how we went for the  ultrasound that makes sure the baby is developing correctly?" 

Yeah's chorused around the table. 

"Well they also managed to find out what the gender is. I am so excited and even though we had wanted to wait, I don't think I can." She smiled. 

"What is it?" I asked, quietly. 

She looked directly at me. "I'm having a boy, Axel. Another boy. You're gonna have a little brother." She smiled at me. 

"Wow... Uh. Congrats. That's... Awesome." I nodded. 

In all honesty I wasn't happy. I wasn't angry either but it was almost like it's finally settled that I was going to have a sibling, 19 years younger than me. It was weird but I also felt jealous... she was around when I was growing up but the new baby was going to have her 24/7. 

"You don't seem happy about it." 

"No. No, I am. I'm just tired. It's been a really long day. I'm so happy for you. This baby is so lucky to have you and Matt." 

"And you. I fully expect you to be involved with your brother. In any way you want." 

I paused. "Why? I mean... Thank you but why? I'm hardly safe." 

"Do you worry you're going to hurt the baby?" My Dad asked. 

I flushed. "I mean not intentionally. I just worry about if I have an episode or if something happens with my blood sugar like it did today. Like... I don't want to accidentally do something wrong. I wouldn't trust me." 

My mother stood up and came over to me. "Hey... You are safe. I also wouldn't have gotten you all that stuff to have at my house if I didn't want you around whenever you want to be. I trust you. You've gotten pretty good at reading when you know something is going wrong and you make it known something is wrong. I don't worry about you with the baby at all." 

"Just... please don't leave me alone with him. I don't want to be responsible for someone else's child."

"We won't. At least not until you are comfortable with it and trust yourself." She touched my shoulder gently. 

"Okay." 

"I'm sorry you feel this way and I wish I had known so I could have helped you ease those fears." 

"That's not your responsibility anymore. I'm an adult and I'm engaged. You should be focusing on you and the baby not your son who has a few loose wires." 

She sighed. "I hate when you put yourself down. You are no less important to me then this new baby. I was worried when I found out I was pregnant that you would feel like you were less than this baby but that's not true. I want you involved in my life for as long as I live and I want you involved in your brother's life in whatever way you are comfortable with it.  Okay?" 

I could see how serious she was so I nodded. "Okay." 

She ruffled my hair. "Would you like to see the sonogram picture?" 

"Sure." 

Matt stood up and grabbed the pictures from her purse, giving her his seat right next to me before he crouched next to me and handed me the pictures. He smiled at me as I took them. I pulled them up so I could see them.