The Love We Found

Chapter 8

Grant's POV:

I left his room in disbelief. After everything we have gone through in a week he still refuses who he is. I meant what I said, I can't continue fighting for something only I want. It's exhausting and his words continually hurt me over and over. I don't understand why he thinks being gay is so wrong. He has two dads, his best friend is gay, he liked kissing me and doing other things with me yet when someone says something about it he freaks out. It's like he panics and can't control what comes out of his mouth. When we all left the room I realized Kyle (his adoptive father) had stayed in the room with him. If anyone besides me could get him to spill it would be his father. Mads and David (Axel's biological dad) were trying to comfort me. But honestly I didn't want anyones comfort or pity but Axels. Whenever one of us were sad or hurt or angry we went to one another, we have always confided in one another. I had no idea how long I had sat there until I felt two hands pulling my face out of my hands to look at them.

"Are you okay?" Kyle asked.

I nodded and shrugged. "I guess. I mean my boyfriend is still ashamed to be dating me so yeah I'm fine." 

"Grant, He's not ashamed he's scared." 

"Scared of what?" I asked confused. 

"A lot, He's scared of the surgery, of never playing again, of something going wrong and you two not working out, he's scared of being gay. He's also worried that he will screw up and ruin your friendship and relationship."

"Haha I don't know if he told you but he called me a fag and a faggot. If that didn't ruin anything I don't think anything he does will. But I just don't want to fight for something he clearly doesn't want."

"Trust me Grant, that kid would be all over you if he wasn't scared of himself."

I gave him a questioning look. "Scared of himself?" 

"You don't know?" He asked. 

I shook my head confused. 

"When you were younger and he went off his meds for three months, he said he kept hearing a voice in his head saying to hurt himself, or to hurt Abby. As much as he kind of despises Abby, he would never hurt her so he choose to hurt himself." 

"Hurt himself how?"

"The burn scars." 

I froze. The scars that covered his lower and middle back were (at least they used to be) terrible and I wanted to cry every time I saw them. I never knew he did it to protect Abby. That wasn't the story he had given me. 

"He told me he fell onto the fire pit. I didn't know he did it to protect her. Do you think he acts like he hates her because he's scared of harming her?"

"That could be it.  However if you talk to him he never mentioned the voice coming back, although he hasn't been steadily taking the pills, so I don't actually know. When he gets back from the surgery and wakes up we can try to talk him about it." He said standing up.  I nodded still looking at the ground. "Hey, look at me Grant." I looked up as he kneeled down. "He called me Daddy again today, we are slowly getting him back. Don't give up on him yet. You guys are meant to be." I smiled knowing just how happy it makes him to have Ax call him daddy. 

At one point during the next few hours we all had gone to the cafeteria and gotten food (The best we could find) and stuff to drink. We had just gotten back to the waiting room when Axel's doctor came in. He looked at us and smiled. 

"Everything went exactly as planned. He's back in the recovery room and we are just leaving him in there for a while to double check his leg but we will be moving him into the room he was in, in about 10 mins. We don't know the exact time he will wake up, but it should be soon, so once we move him you ALL will be allowed back in the room. The chances of him playing football and not having a permanent limp are high. However, there will be a lot of times during rehab that he will want to quit because it will be painful and all of you will need to help push him and keep him going despite the pain."