A slim chance

PhillyBoo - part 10 (omg)

Part ten omfg I've never gotten this far in a story before so thank you for supporting me and reading even when what I write is kinda not that good :)

Diary

I don't even know how to feel

I forgive him but i'm still hurt. All those years.

I think i'll try to talk to Dan about the voices, he needs to be healthy.

I'm a bit worried, I've started to get these feelings

Its like being happy but I'm floating. And when I look at Dan his smile just lights up all my bad thoughts and turns them into good ones.

I hope it isn't what I think...

Sitting on the floor with a trembling boy in my arms made me realize something. We're all broken. We've all been through something that has hurt us, caused so many fake smiles, so many hidden tears, and now here I was. Sitting on the floor cuddling the boy who bullied me all through high school.

We hadn't eaten in ages but it didn't seem that important, but then I looked down and saw Dan's ribs providing through his shirt and changed my mind.

'Dan, come on. The nurse will be here soon with our food, and there's something we need to talk about'

The not nodded and took the hand I offered to help pull him up. Then something strange happened. I looked into those tear filled chocolate eyes and couldn't seem to pull away. Without thinking, I lifted up a shaking hand and wiped away a crystal tear from Dan's cheek letting my thumb linger on his heavenly skin. Then it was happening, we were leaning in, his breath tickled my lips making me shudder. We were close together, chests brushing, we were going to kiss. I was about to kiss Dan Howell.

But then a sharp cough echoed through the room, making me jump.

It was nurse white. Stupid bitch could she not see we were busy?

'Nurse White, hi!' I said, somehow managing not to slap her.

She gave us both an unsatisfied look and placed two plates of slop on the table and without a word, walked away.

I looked back at Dan who was staring at his thumbs, twiddling them together mindlessly.

'Dan' I whispered 'I shouldn't have done that'

I was expecting him to tell me not to worry about it but he didn't.

'No you shouldn't. You don't even realize what you've done do you? Huh? Now they're gonna make me so something I don't want to fucking do! YOU DONT GET IT DO YOU?'

He was screaming now, eyes popping, beads of sweat forming on his tanned forehead. Suddenly, the enraged boy grabbed a vase from the side table and smashed it down onto the floor, sending shards of glass flying in all directions.

Time seemed to slow for a minute, it was like being 14 all over again. Shouts and fear lingered in the air like a bad smell.

Dan sunk down the side of the bed and despite my fear, I found myself joining him, rubbing his knee.

'I'm so sorry' he whispered, looking up at me through his fringe 'You just have no idea how you make me feel. I like the feeling but they don't'

Them. It was them again.

'Dan, do you think maybe you could speak to somebody about them. Get them to leave you alone?'

He shook his head sadly, returning his gaze to the floor.

'It won't work Phil, they might go for a bit, just to trick me, but then they'll be back and it'll be twice as bad'

'Dan, please, for me. You make me so happy. I need you to be happy as well.'

I lowered my head to look at his face once again, giving him my best puppy dog eyes.

He smirked slightly and pinched my cheek, making me go bright red.

'Sure okay. Just for you Phil'

I squeezed Dan's arm, knowing he wouldn't want me to do anything else.

'Thank you'

We sat and ate whatever the slop they call dinner was supposed to be in silence. I didn't want to push Dan but I hoped he could get better quick.

I had so many things I wanted to tell him but he wasn't strong enough to hear them.

Absent mindedly, I went to scoop up another forkful of slop, and noticed that there was nothing there. I stared down at my plate in disbelief. This was the first meal I had finished in over 5 years.

Dan was also staring, his mouth gaping wide open. There were tears running down his face which panicked me slightly.

'Phil, wow that's..' He began to get choked up and turned away, quickly wiping his eyes.

'Why are you crying? Oh god you think I'm so fat don't you? I'm sorry,,I'm sorry'

Then I was being pulled into a gigantic hug, the smell of lynx and caramel flooding my nose.

'Philip Michael Lester you are not at all fat, you are so fucking amazing. I'm crying because I'm so proud of you. So so proud'

I could feel tears pricking the back of my eyes too now but I forced them back down. I removed Dan's arms from my body and cupped his face with my cold hands.

'That's the sweetest thing anybody has ever said to me'

Then he leaned forward and kissed my cheek. It was heavenly.

My eyes popped and Dan looked quite shocked himself, going bright red.

'Sorry' he mumbled, fiddling with the bed cover.

I chuckled, flicking his shoulder playfully.

'Its cool, just don't do anything you're not comfortable with. We need to get you well first, okay?'

He looked up and smiled, eyes still clouded over.

'Okay'

That night I felt a warm body next to mine once again and I smiled.

The voices may try to stop him but they would never win.

I cannot believe how far this is getting. I'm getting close to 1k reads and my one shots have nearly 1.5k
Thanks for reading this, it means a lot and I finally have a pretty strong idea of where this is going.
I have a feeling the story is going to start getting pretty dramatic soon so buckle up :D
-Izzy cx