Finding Family

Faye: The four of us

Finally getting to have my little girl home for good was an amazing feeling, and getting to hug her when she ran over to me out of the car had made it feel real. Not that it hadn't felt real before, but that had been the moment that it finally sunk in that my family were back together for good. That my little girl genuinely was home and she wasn't going to end up having to go back the other side of the country to me unless she actually wanted to. The moment that I realised I was finally going to get to properly be a mum to my little girl. I'd finally found out that her beloved blonde bear had a name, and in fact shared it's name with me, which had somehow made me love Evalynn a little bit more, though I couldn't exactly understand how that was even possible. But by far the cutest part of the whole first day was when Benjamin had seen her. I'd told him that Evalynn was coming so he knew that much (he hadn't wanted to go to the park with Mick, he'd wanted to stay and wait for Evalynn with me instead), but while I'd explained it, I wasn't entirely sure he'd quite grasped the fact that she was coming to stay for good.
When he'd come in the living room and seen Evalynn, he'd squealed with excitement and ran straight over to hug her and she'd somehow managed to lift him up to hug him.
"You came! You came!" He said to her.
"Yeah I did." She replied softly. She carried him to the sofa and set him down so he was stood on the sofa and, despite the rule we had about not standing on it, I couldn't help but smile. Then they hugged again. Mick crept across the room to me as they did and slipped his arm around me gently.
"When are you go home?" Benjamin asked her.
I watched as Evalynn smiled. "This is my home now Benji." She told him.
"No! I mean when do you leave?"
"I'm not this time. I'm home for good." Evalynn replied.
Benjamin struggled out of her grip and looked at me. "Is Evvy really staying?" He asked me.
I nodded. "Yes baby. She's staying here with us forever." I told him softly.
His face lit up with joy and he hugged her again. He whispered something to her and she whispered something back.
"It's perfect isn't it?" I whispered to Mick.
"It's certainly very nice." He whispered back before kissing me on the cheek. "And congratulations by the way on having your whole family together at last."
I smiled and kissed him. "Thank you for letting it happen."

When Evalynn and Benjamin were finished hugging, she hugged Mick and he hugged her. I smiled and ended up lifting Benjamin up to keep him out of the way of them.
"Evvy really staying?" Benjamin asked me, still having trouble believing it. "Really really staying?"
I laughed a little. "Yes, because she's my little girl remember and I asked her to come home." I told him. "Gosh you really are getting heavy Mr." I added. He'd grown again over the last month, and I knew we really were reaching a point where I couldn't lift him up all the time, but I still did because he loved it and it made us both so happy.
He smiled, and I kissed him softly. This was what I'd dreamed of years ago when I was pregnant with Benjamin, what I'd hoped would happen. And now it was reality.

"I got you this as a Christmas Present. It would have been your present either way if you'd of stayed in Gloucester or come here." I said, giving her a present.
She perched on the edge of the sofa and carefully unwrapped it to reveal a framed version of the photo we'd taken in the woods together when she'd been visiting; her hair in the plait I'd been so proud of and she'd loved so much, Benjamin clutching a handful of leaves, and me smiling just at the fact I was holding hands with both of my children. She put it down before hugging me. "I love you mamma." She told me.
"I love you too baby girl. Happy Christmas and most importantly, welcome home." I replied, hugging her back.

Somehow, I let Benjamin talk us into playing a game of make believe, and the remainder of the afternoon was lost to the adventures of the giant Fairy, the pirate Captain and Princess who could talk to animals. Evalynn had upgraded her character from dragon friend to friend of all the animals at Benjamin's request, which seemed to just be an excuse for them to get all the teddies out. The three of us were in the middle of fighting off the terrible enemy Rupert the Giraffe when Mick said it was time for dinner. Benjamin had been sad, but we promised him we'd return to the game straight after. We did and the horrible giraffe was beaten (at which point I then got them both to help me tidy up for the day).

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That night I'd tucked Evalynn into bed. Her room was messy because she'd only half unpacked (mostly to get out what she needed), but we'd already said we'd sort it out together tomorrow. Even though I'd done it when she'd come to visit, tucking her in and giving her a little kiss on the cheek felt magical. I was determined not to baby her, to instead treat her with the respect and give her the freedoms that she deserved as an 11 year old, but at the same time I knew that I was going to do some of the cute little things parents do with younger children while she still wasn't too 'cool' for that.

Now though, we were trying our best to unpack. The boys were doing... boy things (I actually wasn't too sure what, but they weren't in our way so I didn't mind too much), and the house was peaceful.
"So with your books you've got a choice, you can keep them in here, or put them on the bookshelf in the living room." I told her.
She put the socks she was holding away in the draw and bit her lip as she thought. "Can I keep a few of my favourites in here and the others downstairs?" She asked.
I nodded. "Of course you can, they're your books." I told her.
She smiled. I couldn't tell what she found more exciting just at the minute, having so much space of her own or still the fact she was at home with me. She put her book she was clearly reading at the minute on the bedside table, sitting Tara on top. Then she carefully opened the last box and grinned. I looked and it appeared it was full of teddies and some summer clothes.
"You have a lot of teddies like me!" I said to her.
She smiled. "I tried to get rid of some, but I just couldn't bare to get rid of most of them." She replied, slipping some tops out of the box. She unfolded each of them to reveal a picture. One of her and other two girls her age (I guessed Mia and Ash), one of her and what I assumed were her foster sisters, and a final one of the five of them and another girl (as I took a closer look I realised it was from the Steps concert, as Evalynn was dressed up as me). She blushed as she realised I was looking at them. "Sorry if you think its weird I brought photos of my old foster sisters."
I shook my head. "It's fine. They were a big part of your life, so were your old friends. We could get some different frames to put them in and put them up on the wall with the picture of us three?"
She nodded, then randomly hugged me. She'd been doing it a lot in the last 24 hours whenever she'd had the chance, and I loved it because it was a very tangible reminder that my daughter was home.

When we let go of each other I sat down on her bed. "You know of course that you'll have to go to school here and so obviously we'll need to get you school uniform before you do." I told her, picking up Faye bear (who hadn't been renamed yet, and I sort of hoped never would be) and sitting her in my lap.
Evalynn sat down with me, picking up Josie. "I know. Is it a nice school?"
"I think so yeah sweetie."
"It's just I don't like new people too much and there'll be lots of new things and people to get used to." She replied.
I slipped my arm round her and pulled her close to me. "I'm sure you'll be alright." I told her. "I'll find it on google in a bit so you can look at it and then maybe it won't seem as scary."
She smiled. "Okay."

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I showed Evalynn the school on google after dinner while Mick took Benjamin upstairs for a bath. She'd liked the look of it, and when I asked her she told me she felt less nervous about it now she'd seen it online. I was glad, after all I wanted her to be happy here and that wasn't going to happen properly if she really didn't like her school. Plus she'd really need to make herself some new friends, of course not to take away value from her relationship with Mia and Ash, but because she obviously didn't have any up here right now.
"So you don't start on the first day back of term, you'll have that day off, but we'll probably deal with getting you your uniform then alright?" I told her.
She nodded.

After we were done and Benjamin was out of the bath, we played a game of dominoes, which was more fun than it had been in the past, though I couldn't tell if that was due to Benjamin getting older or the fact there were four of us now. I didn't win, Evalynn did. Once we were done with that I took Benjamin to bed and he complained that he wanted Evalynn to read him a bedtime story until I gave in and had to go get her. I sat in there quietly observing the two of them together and I cried from the happiness. This was my everyday life now. Well, my everyday life until Evalynn got too far into her teens and didn't want to do as much with her brother anyway. After I'd kissed Benjamin and tucked him in tight, I hugged Evalynn in the hallway.
"You're amazing." I whispered to her.
"Thank you." She replied, hugging me in return. "You're amazing too mamma." She added.
I smiled, treasuring her words and pulled her closer to me for a moment. "Thanks Ev." I whispered. Everything was wonderful.