Finding Family

Evalynn: Writing to Mamma

"I have a question." I said to Maria, my social worker, before she left. We always had a few minutes before she left where it was just me and her. It was to ensure I felt happy and safe apparently, because supposedly I'd be more likely to say if I wasn't with my foster parents.
"Oh? Go ahead Evalynn." She replied, looking up from her bag.
"If I were to want to write a letter for my mamma, what would I have to do to get it there? To her I mean, because obviously I don't know where she lives so I can't post it like a normal letter." I asked.
Maria looked surprised. It was a fair enough response, I'd been surprised when I'd had the idea a few nights before. "Well you'd have to write a letter put it in an envelope with your case number on and drop it round to the centre. From there we'd ensure it got to her. You know your case number right?"
I nodded. "Yeah 61874T you made me memorise it years ago! It's okay it's just because I want to try. I don't expect to get a response, but it's a step in the right direction."
Maria shrugged. "I don't know Evalynn, you're quite lucky as things go with your mum... urhm sorry mamma sending you presents at Christmas and your birthday so she might write back. Just you won't be able to put in personal stuff like where you live now or anything without Amy and Ian's permission."
"Understood. But can I send her a picture of me?" I asked.
"Eh..." She got a folder out of her bag and flicked through the pages to find the relevant one for my situation with mamma. "Let's see, you're in green 2. So that means... apparently yes you can."
I smiled. "Okay, I'll bring it round some time later this week. Or possibly next week, it's hard to tell with my ability to write." I replied.
"Well Evalynn if you need any help on what best to write you know where to find me." Maria replied passing me a sheet of A4 paper. A letter to parents guide. I'd read it later.
I thought about hugging her, but decided against it. "Thanks Maria." I said, then I decided I'd hug her quickly anyway.

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What do you write to your mamma the first time you want to contact her? It was a struggle most people didn't have. I twisted my the pencil round and round my fingers. So far the letter consisted of one line, "Dear Mamma" I stared at the pink stationary I was using. I'd had it ages but I hardly wrote letters, so I hadn't used much of it. I glanced up at Faye bear (today dressed in jeans and a bright red top, a little like Faye in one of the performances of Stomp) with a smile. She was watching for moral support more than anything. I wondered what my mamma would make of my beloved teddy named after a 90s pop star if I ever met her. I still hadn't worked out what she'd meant with the note in the case of my birthday present cd to know if she worked in a cd shop or was somehow connected to Steps, but it was quite babyish to have a teddy named after your favourite celebrity I supposed. Not that I'd ever change Faye bear's name for anyone... well there was one exception, but my chances of Faye Tozer ever finding out my teddy was named after her were so low it didn't really stand thinking about.
I was stuck, so thought about the letters she'd sent me recently. She'd mentioned she was travelling this year, maybe I should ask her where she was going. Perhaps it would lead to me being able to see her.
"I know I've never written to you before, but I decided this year to try something new. So hello mamma! It's me, Evalynn!
You mentioned in your letter at Christmas that you were travelling this year, are you going anywhere pretty? I wish I was going somewhere pretty but I've never really been too far from home. But I am going to Cardiff to see my favourite band in April, which is very exciting!
I put in a picture of me, because I don't think that you'll have seen any pictures of me for ages and I guess I've changed since you last saw me given I don't remember you. My friends think I'm pretty and look like Faye from Steps (she was the one with the crazy hairstyles if you aren't familiar with them). I see what they mean, but I don't think I'm as pretty as her.
One day, maybe when I'm older though, I don't want to mess up your travelling, I would like to meet you. I have a lot of questions to ask you if we ever did, but the first thing I'd do would be hug you for a really long time!
Love from your dear little Evalynn. Xx"

I folded the paper, unfolded it and tucked the picture of me inside it, before folding it again. I tucked the letter and photo into the envelope  before taking it back out. I should write on the envelope before I put the letter in, my teacher had told me that last year. So onto the envelope went the word 'Mamma', and my case number in the top left corner in my neatest handwriting. Then I put the letter back in, and sealed the envelope.

It was Thursday tomorrow, I'd come back from school and walk to the centre to send it on it's way to Mamma. Hopefully it'd make it to her before she set off on her travels.

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When I came back from school on Thursday though I had doubts. I hadn't really told Mummy Amy and Daddy Ian about this, only really mentioned it in passing, so it almost felt like a betrayal of them and their trust. But no. This was my life, and I needed to treat it as such. I took my school uniform off, pulling on a pair of leggings and a long sleeved top, dumping my trousers and jumper in the corner of my room and taking my polo shirt to the washing basket. Then I went back to my room and picked up one of my little bags, tucking the letter and a couple of other things into my bag.
"Mummy Amy, I'm going out for a bit." I called.
"Okay, be back at half five for tea won't you." She replied.
"Of course I will."

I opened the door and headed to the park. Mia and Ash had offered to walk with me, if only because they were bored and I apparently needed the company. I led the way, they asked the awkward questions.
"So what happens if your mum replies?" Ash asked.
I shrugged. I hadn't exactly thought that far. "I dunno, I guess that'd be the start of something."
"It feels weird knowing that you might end up moving away if this goes how you hope." Mia said quietly.
"Yeah, it's strange to think about it, so I've tried not to. But if that did happen I wouldn't forget you guys! And I'd miss you so much!"

The remainder of the journey passed with little in the way of memorable conversation. But when we got there I asked Ash and Mia to wait in the park opposite. I watched them cross the road then pressed the buzzer to request entry. I was familiar with the whole process, and I sometimes thought that I could do it in my sleep if I tried hard enough.
"Hello, state your name and purpose." Said the woman answering the buzzer said.
"Hiya, Evalynn Goodwin. I'm here to see my social worker Maria?" I replied.
"Alright Evalynn, I'll buzz you in." She said.
The door opened, and I headed up to the reception where the woman then met me. "Do you know your way to Maria's office?" She asked.
"Yes thank you." I replied.
I walked along the corridor of offices and storage rooms until I got to the one for the local social workers. I knocked on the door and waited for one of them to come and invite me in. As I waited I sung under my breath. I always did it, because it helped me calm down. It was almost always a Steps song, today my song of choice was Stomp.
The door opened and a man I didn't recognise stood opposite me. "Who are you here to see?" He asked me politely.
"I'm here to see Maria, I believe she was expecting me to stop by this week." I replied.
"Is that Evalynn?" Maria called. I looked into the office and caught sight of her leaning back on her chair to see through the open door. "I'll be right out to you lovely, just let me send this email. Head down to room three if you want."
I smiled and thanked the man, before heading down to meeting room three. I sat down and waited for Maria, singing under my breath again.

She walked in and greeted me. "Do you want help with writing your letter to your mum?" She asked.
"No, I've written it already thanks. I used the guide sheet you gave me to make sure I didn't add anything I shouldn't." I replied, getting it out of my little bag.
"Oh good on you. Did you add your case number or do I need to?" Maria asked. "Oh great you already did! Unfortunately you missed today's posting so it'll be got ready for being sent tomorrow."
I smiled at her. "That's okay Maria. Thank you! When, if, she replies will it be sent to me or will I have to come here and get it?"
"It'll be sent to your address from whichever centre your mum posts it at Evalynn, just like your presents are." Maria replied.
"Okay." I replied.
"Any other questions?" Maria checked.
"No I think I'm done. Thank you."
She picked up the letter and my brief file. "See you next month then Evalynn unless you have any concerns to talk about in the meantime."
I nodded, and left, heading out the building of my own accord.

I smiled to myself as I crossed to the park. I'd done it. I'd written to my mum, so hopefully she'd know I think about her. And maybe she'd write back. I hid the smile as I reached Ash and Mia.
"So have you sent it?" Mia asked.
"Yep. It's there and getting ready to go on it's way to my Mamma." I replied.
My friends smiled and both hugged me and I hugged them back. My journey of self discovery was beginning.

So this scene and part of the story wasn't planned to start with, I intended to include a cutsie scene of her and her friends planning what outfits to wear to the concert, but I couldn't drag it out far enough. And I wanted a cute moment.
Lis