Finding Family

Evalynn: New Life

It still didn't quite feel real. I mean it was, I was living with my mamma, Mick and Ben, but it still felt like a dream. I wasn't entirely sure it'd ever stop feeling like a dream, but for now it definitely still did. Waking up each morning and getting hugged almost as soon as Ben saw me was somewhat magical, and getting to look at my favourite celebrity, in fact I suspected she was actually my favourite person generally, in the whole world every day was just fantastic. Getting to call her mamma was somehow even better now we were in the same house. I'd been busy a lot (sometimes just busy giggling or hugging my mamma and half-brother), but every now and then I'd get this strange feeling to remind me how much I missed Mia and Ash and that, right now, I still had the problem that I didn't know anyone outside my house. And sometimes I felt a bit guilty about leaving them, though up until this morning I hadn't cried about that fact. But seeing my friends' text messages about them going to school today and them both knowing it wouldn't be the same without me, paired with Alex sending me a school morning goofy joke just like he always had, had set me right off. I was sat on the sofa fiddling with Tara and crying. I half wanted to go back there so I was with them again. It suddenly didn't feel very fair at all that I'd had to choose between my best friends and my mamma. Someone sat down next to me and slipped their arms round me, but I didn't want to look up to see who. I could guess anyway. Mick hadn't long gone out to work and Benjamin would have made his presence known by now, so it must be mamma. I glanced up to double check I was right before snuggling closer against her.
"What's wrong Evvy?" She asked me.
I sniffed. I didn't know how to explain without sounding a little pathetic.
"Oh Benjamin can I just talk to Evvy on our own for a minute please. Why don't you go and find your pirate hat?" Mamma said. I heard the little feet patter off away again, presumably to find his pirate hat.
"My friends messaged me and they're going back to school today and it just hit that I'm really far from them and I probably won't see them again for ages." I told her.
She stroked my arm softly, still cuddling me. "It'll be alright, I know you'll make new friends here, and your old friends will find a way to stay in touch with you even if you are opposite ends of the country."
Even though I knew she couldn't see it, I smiled. "I know I'll make new friends, it just doesn't make it hurt less right now though."
She sighed. "You get used to it. Being far away from your friends I mean. And you never know it might help you grow. I mean yes, they've been your best friends as long as you can remember I get that, but sometimes a new friend helps you to find out other things about yourself. Things that might be missed if you always stayed with the same people."
I smiled again. "Thanks mamma." I whispered.
"No problem baby." She replied.

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Uniform shopping was almost as boring this time as it had been back in Gloucester, only this time the lady in the shop had spent quite a while talking to me about the school because, as it turned out, two of her children were there (but sadly neither in the same year as me). The uniform consisted of black trousers (or a horrible red checked skirt in the summer), and a red blazer, which I still liked much more than I'd liked the uniform for my old school. Now I was actually a bit excited to start school tomorrow, even if it was all going to be new.
"Is it possible that you could stay still? Either of you?" Mamma asked as she tried to get Ben to put his shoes on. We were going to the park, and I was simply just excited to go outside, even if it was a bit cold.
"I mean I'm not very good at it." I replied with a grin.
She shook her head with a laugh. "Yeah I'd already learnt that much Evalynn. But just for a few seconds?"
I shrugged. "I can try."

We did eventually leave to go to the park, just leaving the house took ages, and so did our walk. I didn't mind, it was actually nice not to be rushing anywhere. As we walked, Ben talked about just about anything he could think of and I just listened, adding little inputs to his conversation whenever I felt I needed to. I glanced at mamma at one point and we smiled at each other. I still couldn't quite believe that they were my family, let alone that I lived with them now; but they were and I did, and it was enough to make anyone happy. When we reached the park I went off to sit on the swings just because I felt like it. Ben went on the slide and mamma went to supervise him, looking over at me every few minutes to make sure I was alright. Across the park there was a group of children who looked to be about my age and I thought about going over to see them. But my fear got the better of me and I stayed put, it was probably better not to anyway, I didn't want to make the wrong kind of friends after all. The one person over there was a dark haired girl who kept glancing over at me. Eventually she ditched her friends and ran across to sit on the swing next to me.
"Hi! I'm Kiki." She said.
I tried to encourage my shyness not to overtake me. "Hey." I replied with a gentle smile.
"Have ya just moved here? I don't think I've seen ya before." She said. "Oh hey are you gonna be at Kingsway?"
I shook my head. "I've just moved here, my mam and brother haven't. And no I don't think so." I guessed Kingsway was a school.
"Oh. Which school ya going ta then?" She asked.
I bit my lip. "The red one, Bryercliff I think it's called?" I replied.
Kiki pulled a face. "Ewww... Nah jokes, it's an alright school, just Kingsway's better. Well that's what me and me mates say anyways." She laughed.
"Kiki! You coming? We're gonna go up the shops." Asked a boy running over to us.
She shot him a rude gesture before sending him away.
"Do you come here much?" I asked her, drawing her attention away from her friends as she looked like she was going to swear at another one.
"Yeah, I live down the road so I bring my siblings here a lot. Where ya from? Like where d'ya live?" She asked me.
"Through the woods." I replied with a shrug. It wasn't really quite a wood as I was learning, more like a set of fields with a lot of trees on the walkway at the bottom, but the description worked.
Two of her mates - one of them the boy from earlier - showed up to drag her off somewhere else then and she said goodbye to me.

It didn't occur to me until we were walking back that I should have asked for her phone number. I had no idea how to get in touch with her again. It was a basic mistake. I was sure I'd find her again at the park with time because I'm sure I'd end up there with Ben at the same time as she was there with her siblings sooner or later, and anyway if I didn't I was sure I'd make new friends at school in time. In fact I was starting to get a little worried about that now. I knew it was silly, and I knew it was just where I had nothing to take my mind off it, but it didn't make it trouble me any less.

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The following morning I was scared. I'd packed my bag the night before so I knew I had the things I needed - mostly just my pencil case and my reading book - but I had to check it again before I left anyway. I didn't want to make a bad impression on my first day.
"You look very smart dressed like that." Mick commented as we both tried to organise ourselves to leave the house (him for work and me for school). He was still rather awkward about talking to me at times, I guess coming from him not being certain where boundaries should lie between a dad and pre-teen step-daughter he'd gone for the approach of saying and doing nothing that could overstep it, though he was working things out quite quickly. As it happened he was meant to be taking Ben to preschool and, as it was my first day, mamma was meant to be taking me to school.
"Thank you." I replied quietly.
"Are you scared?"
I nodded. "Yep. Well I was, then I wasn't, now I definitely am again."
He laughed. "Look, and trust me on this, if you're anything like your mam you'll be absolutely fine."
There was laughter from the kitchen doorway and mamma asked the question I wanted to before I had chance. "You think?"
"Yeah I know your mam... wait..." He trailed off and looked behind him. "Damn it." He muttered.
She laughed and I couldn't help but giggle.
"Anyway B's all ready for you two to go out." Mamma told him.
He smiled and they went to kiss each other while I stared out the window so I didn't have to look. I hadn't really figured out the whole relationship thing yet and seeing people kissing always made me a bit grossed out as a result. When they were done I left the kitchen for fear they'd kiss again.
"You look funny." Ben observed as I passed him on my way upstairs to brush my teeth.
"Do I? Is it the clothes?" I asked.
He nodded.
"I have to wear them for school. You'll understand when you're a bit older. I think you're going out in a minute aren't you?"
"Yeah."
"Well I'll see you later." I said, hugging him quickly and then went on upstairs.

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"So are you ready?" Mamma asked me as we arrived at the school.
I shook my head. "I thought I was but I'm not." I told her.
She sighed. "Okay, take a deep breath Evvy. I understand why you're scared, but I don't suspect it'll be so bad." She'd taken to calling me Evvy because Ben did it so much it had stuck in her head and she couldn't help it. I didn't mind, I liked it.
"I know, it's just first day nerves you know?" I replied.
"Okay those are fine and normal, come on let's go get you signed in." Mamma replied.
I nodded and got out the car. She took hold of my hand as a gentle reassurance as we walked into the reception.

We went though several questions and then I was given a paper timetable and my bus pass and introduced to a couple of children who were in my classes. I hugged mamma before she left, her promising to pick me up later (I'd negotiate getting the bus another day when I knew which bus and stop were the ones I needed) and then was taken on a tour of the school.
"Do you guys like it here?" I asked.
"Yeah. It's nice. I think you'll like it here." The girl, Elsie, replied.
The boy, Max, shrugged. "Depends on what lesson you're in and who you've got like most schools."
I nodded. "What lessons do you like?"
"Tech, Science, the hands on type of stuff. Not computing though, hate that." He replied.
"I like languages and Religious Studies." Elsie said.
That at least meant they had some common interests with me. Hopefully they'd both want to carry on being my friends.

After my tour of the school I was taken to first lesson, which was unfortunately history. Of course they were learning different things to I'd been learning, so things didn't really make all that much sense, but the teacher warmed to me as I tried to answer questions anyway. Nevertheless, I concluded it could be a long first week.