Finding Family

Evalynn: A deciding meeting

One final meeting, that was it. One more meeting with my social worker and then I would be signed off officially out of the care system. One meeting until I would (hopefully of course) be a Tozer properly forever. After all I've been through I don't think I'd ever want to change my surname, certainly I'd never want to lose Tozer from it. That meeting was later today, and I was more than ready for it. Well in theory I was ready for it, I knew what I wanted to say and how to answer the usual questions Maria always asked, but I knew that the second Maria arrived at our house I'd be terrified and not feel ready at all. What if she asked different questions I wasn't expecting and I couldn't answer them? It was a real possibility where this was a completely new environment of home life than being with the Goodwins like I'd always been before. What if I couldn't answer the questions properly and she takes me back to Gloucester? It'd break my heart. I think it'd break mamma's heart and probably Ben's as well. No. I'm pretty sure the entire idea of a social worker is to do everything they can to keep you happy and safe, Maria wasn't going to drag me away from mamma if she could tell it would make us all really unhappy. So I was probably going to stay here unless someone was really uncomfortable about it.

For some stupid reason I'd got up and decided I wanted to look all neat and pretty so I'd put on one of my cute dresses, only it was March, it was too cold and I didn't feel comfortable dressed in a dress after all, so an hour later had got changed into jeans and a cute top instead. Equally part of the reason I'd changed had been that Mick had come in the living room while I'd been wearing the dress, and I could see how hard he was trying not to make a comment about the fact it was the first time he'd seen me wear one. Ben had just found the dress funny, I guess where mamma doesn't wear dresses much either so he wasn't used to them being used in normal life. I was much more comfortable in jeans than I had been in the dress.
"Awh you looked so sweet earlier." Mamma said when she saw I'd got changed.
I sighed. "I wasn't comfortable though."
She smiled and took me into a soft hug. "It's fine, that comes first." She said, before kissing my forehead. "Today's the day Evvy!"
I grinned and hugged her back. "I know I'm so excited! But I'm also scared." I replied.
Mamma sighed. "I love you, Ben and Mick love you and you love all of us. You'll be fine. Out of us both, you're the one who should definitely know that it's just to make sure you're okay."
"I know but still I'm worried about saying something silly and her thinking it's a bad thing." I told her.
Mamma kissed my head gently. "I know it'll be alright Evvy."
I smiled and cuddled her a bit tighter.

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I was getting progressively more nervous as the morning went on, so having tried to sit and read for a while and finding it impossible to concentrate, I decided to play around with Ben instead. So Faye bear, Josie, a handful of my other teddies, Blue and a load of his other teddies were having a secret meeting, although there was too many to sit them in a circle on the floor in the playroom so we'd set them up in the living room instead.
"Do we have to have all the teddies out in here?" Mamma asked as she came in the room.
"They're having a meeting." Ben pouted.
"I understand that, but could they possibly be having a smaller meeting?"
I sighed. I knew she wanted to make a good impression on Maria, but I knew that the place didn't need to be completely tidy for that to happen. "It's okay, Maria won't mind."
"I just want the place to be kinda tidy for her anyway." She replied.
"Is Evvy going away again?" Ben asked, looking up at mamma sadly.
"Hopefully not, that's what we're trying to avoid." Mamma sat down with the two of us, picking up one of Ben's bears and fiddling with it in much the same way I was fiddling with Josie's ears. We hadn't really explained to him fully, we both knew we should but we also sort of knew the two of us should do it together close to the information being relevant. "So me and Evvy, and I think daddy for a bit maybe, are going to have meeting with the person in charge of making sure she's okay, because she wants to be sure that Evvy's going to be okay to stay here." She explained.
"She's really nice, and she wants to make sure I'm happy, so as long as she's sure I'm safe here she'll let me stay. She doesn't want me to be away from you guys any more than you want me to, or than I want to. I want to stay here forever and I know you want that too." I told him.
He nodded. "I love Evvy." Ben said.
"I love you too." I replied.
Mamma smiled, her smile somehow getting even bigger as Ben shuffled over to me and gave me a hug, and a few seconds later mamma had slipped her arms around us too. We were family and we loved each other, which was so much more than some people ever got to have.
"I love you both my babies." She whispered to us.
"I love you mamma." I replied, sad that I couldn't hug her as well as Ben because of the way we were all sat.
"Me too." Ben added.