Finding Family

Faye: The start of Something

When Benjamin was finally asleep my sister looked at me. She looked into her bag and pulled out a letter.
"Mick said you'd be particularly interested in this letter and that I should give it to you." She told me. "I didn't want to give you it while Benjamin was awake because I know you love spending time with him and wouldn't want to waste it. Also I have no idea what it is, so feel free to enlighten me."
I took the letter and looked at the envelope. My heart skipped a beat. I'd recognise that printing on an envelope anywhere. "Evalynn." I whispered, partly because I couldn't stay quiet, partly because of disbelief and partly because I wanted my sister to hear. I wanted her to ask me questions I couldn't answer properly and make me feel guilty, because that was how I'd taken to coping with the Evalynn thing for now.
I didn't know if I wanted to know what the letter would say, but ripped the envelope open anyway, pulling out another envelope from inside. On that was writing that was unmistakably written by a child. "Mamma" in gentle but slightly messy cursive. Could it be? Half scribbled on the top left corner of the envelope was the case number that was engrained in my mind from reading it and writing it so frequently. It had to be her surely? I barely wanted to let the hope in, knowing in the unlikely event it turned out not to be it'd break my heart all over again. My sister looked over obviously curious and I smiled at her before carefully opening the second envelope, not wanting to rip something that had already become precious to me. It really was. I was actually holding a letter from my daughter.

I unfolded the letter without reading more than the "Love from your dear little Evalynn. Xx" at the bottom and found a picture inside. Just seeing that made me desperately want to cry, though I fought down the urge. Instead of reading the letter also in a child's handwriting, knowing that really would set me off, I examined the photo, taking in every detail of my daughter, her soft face, her surroundings, how happy she looked. She looked so like I had as a child, though her hair was a little less curly than mine had been. I turned the picture over just out of curiosity, and read the note. "Evalynn - September 2011"
"Is that... your... your daughter?" She asked me quietly.
I nodded refusing to take my eyes off the picture in case it somehow vanished before I looked back at it. I could already feel tears forming. "Whatever gave you that impression?" I teased, sniffing in the hope it would get rid of the tears.
"Perhaps the fact she looks so similar to you did as a little kiddie Kermit?" My sister replied.
I elbowed her sharply. "Why Kermit?" I asked, shaking my head. As I did I worked out what I wanted to say. "To summarize darling, that's Evalynn Tozer, who's not a Tozer really any more. But she's my daughter and so, by virtue, your niece. She's ten... no eleven now, and I haven't actually seen her since she was a baby, even though I desperately desperately wish I could have done. I miss her so badly."
My sister hugged me. "Hey, once a Tozer always a Tozer, no matter the surname. We've gotta have each other's backs. You taught me that before you got married the first time! And I always knew you'd lied when you said you'd cut her out of your life altogether."
I could feel tears now overflowing my eyes, and hugged her. I was grateful that she hadn't mentioned his name, but the conversation still hurt. Despite my best efforts to try and forgive him for walking away I was still angry that because of his choices I hadn't seen my daughter for 11 years. "Yeah. But, this is different to us Cece, because she doesn't know she's a Tozer. I've never told her who I am. I doubt anyone else has bothered telling her, she was put with a foster family as a baby and been with the same family ever since. She might never know she is a Tozer. And I couldn't do that and you know it."
"Faye. Tozers stick together, whether they realise it or not. You will find her, or she will find you. And I did say I always knew that was a lie. You care about everyone too much. 'No, I won't take pitty on Claire.' 10 minutes later holding her hand." My sister laughed.
"Yeah you're not going to let me live that one down are you." I replied with a laugh. "And she's not that bad."
"Not what you were still telling us six months ago." My sister replied.
I shook my head and smiled.