Finding Family

Evalynn: Home

I hugged Mick quickly, then hugged Ben for longer. He was sad I was leaving, but I'd always known he would be. When I was done I knelt down to his height and kissed his cheek promising him I'd phone at some point. Then Mick took Ben off somewhere else in the house to give mamma and I some privacy. I hugged her for a long moment, and she hugged me back.
"It's been so nice to get to stay with you I've loved it so much and I can't wait to see you at the start of December!" I said to her, hugging her as tight as I could manage.
"It's been lovely to get to know you a little better Ev. I'm already looking forwards to seeing you again." She replied. When we split apart she bent down and kissed my forehead softly. I kissed her cheek in return. She handed me Josie bear, who I'd put down on the bench in the doorway and I smiled at her in a wild attempt not to cry. She smiled back, though she looked like she wanted to cry too. Then I followed Maria across to the car and forced one last smile at mamma before getting in. She blew me a kiss and I pretended to catch it then blew her one back. As we drove away I looked at her through the window as she watched, then glanced out the back as she closed the front door and sighed. I was going home, back to being Evalynn Goodwin, and I didn't want to. I wanted to get to carry on being Evalynn Tozer forever and ever and never have to give up my last name even when I got married. But Aunty Clare had said that once you were a Tozer girl you were always a Tozer girl, so I guess that applied to me too.

I was caught by a sudden panic as we waited on the platform for the train to arrive ready to take us back down to Gloucester, because I was overcome with a horrible worry I'd forgotten something important. I checked my pockets for my phone first. Yes I had that. My locket? Yes that was round my neck like it usually was. My bracelet? Oh I hadn't forgotten that had I? No it was there round my wrist. Josie was still in my hands and Faye bear was tucked in the top of my suitcase like she had been on the way down. Oh could it have been Tara? No I remembered tucking her into the top of my backpack first thing this morning when I woke up. Or did I? The more I thought about it the more I was certain that hadn't been this morning and was on the way here.
Having got on the train I opened the zip on top of my backpack and stared in horror. I'd left Tara behind somewhere. Who was I going to carry around in my pocket to help me not get too worried? I took a deep breath and told myself not to panic. Tara would be safe because mamma knew how special the little lamb was to me and anyway she'd said that if I left stuff behind she'd put it in my room so it was there next time I visited her. I just had to survive however long that would be without Tara. Just to be sure she knew, in case she did show up somewhere random like the floor in the hallway or something, I texted mamma.
"Hey. I think I left Tara behind, probably in my room, but I felt like I should tell you just in case you come across her somewhere else.Xx"
I got a text back a few minutes later. "I just checked and it appears you did. She's in your room on the bed. Don't worry she'll be safe here and I'll give her back to you when I see you next. X"
I breathed a sigh of relief that at least I knew where Tara was, even if it was the other side of the country to where I'd be.

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Part of me didn't really want to unpack my bag when I got home, because when I did all the clothes would end up in the wash and at the minute I knew they smelt faintly of mamma, but I also knew I couldn't leave my stuff in there. Plus I wanted Faye bear out. I was still sad I'd forgotten Tara, but at least I'd remembered the other two.
"How was it Lynny?" Lottie asked, coming into my room just as I snuggled up to Faye Bear. Hearing such a thick Gloucestershire accent for the first time in a week was odd, but I found I had missed it.
"It was wonderful. I love her so much, and I love my half brother and I really quite like Mick too. It was nice to find out about me and to get to know her better. Oh and I met my Aunty Clare, that's Faye's sister, and she's lovely too!" I rambled. "And she's invited me to see her on tour in December too."
Charlotte smiled, perching on the edge of my bed. "Well that's lovely. I'm really glad that it made you so happy." She said, her voice breaking a little.
"What's wrong? Did I miss something bad?" I asked, suddenly worried.
"No, no. It's just that I guess one this means there's a chance one day you're going to move away to be with them. Better make the most of this time we've still got then 'ey." She replied. "What was the best part?"
I smiled and launched into a long and rather deep explanation of some of the best parts of my trip, and Lottie listened to it all.

I found myself recounting the story three more times, to Katie, Mummy Amy and Daddy Ian respectively. Each of them responded differently, though with similar sentiments. They were all happy for me, but each of them were also a little sad at the idea I might be moving away because of it. I wasn't really sure where they'd even got the idea from because the conversation had never come up with mamma. In fact I was pretty sure she'd want to have me stay at least once more before we got that far. The weirdest part was I was fairly certain that even though I knew it would upset my family I had now I wanted to go if I got the chance. After all I was Evalynn Tozer really, not Evalynn Goodwin.

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The following morning was Sunday, the day before we went back to school, but I had to go see Mia and Ash and tell them about my trip. Though this time I waited until a better hour of the day to go rather than intruding on them at breakfast like I had done when I'd found out that Faye was my mamma. It was just after lunch when I knocked on their front door, and when she opened it Ash immediately hugged me.
"I missed you so much Lynnie!" She squealed.
"I missed you too!" I replied, hugging her back. "Is Mia in? Do you guys want to come to the park with me?" I asked her.
"Mia's sick, but I can come out with you for a bit." She said, grabbing her shoes from the mat by the door.
I smiled. I could tell Mia another day, or I could phone her and tell her. Either way she'd find out sooner rather than later. Ash called to her mum she was going out with me for a while. We headed to our little den by the edge of the park, only to find it swarmed by teenagers with bikes. We quickly ran back to the park and decided we'd be safest at the top of the slide tower.

"What was it like? Was it nice? Oh what's Benjamin like, he looks so cute!" Ash asked.
"It was amazing." I said, before trailing off into my long description like I had done last night. It was almost like re-living the moments, and every time I told someone else about it I added in extra little details I remembered to the story.
"Oh my god that's awesome. I'm glad you had fun, and I bet you're so excited to see her in December." Ash said when I was done.
I smiled. "It really was amazing and I love them all so much." The more times I talked about him, the more I realised I did actually love Mick a bit. 
"Anyway, I should go home. I'm meant to be doing Mia's chores this weekend." Ash said.
"Okay." We headed back across the park and I left her outside her house, hugging her again before I left.

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I struggled to sleep that night, and my thoughts kept drifting back to mamma and how much I wanted to spend more time with her. I contemplated texting her, but it was about ten o'clock when I had that idea and I decided it was probably better not to. I missed her and even hugging Josie and Faye bear in turn didn't help. I eventually managed to go to sleep, but it was restless and not a great night.
Getting up for school the next morning was hard, but I wanted to go partly so I could test out my new skills at logic puzzles in maths (my teacher like Mick loved to give me them), and partly so I could see some of my other friends again.

Sorry, this chapter's a little shorter than normal, but oh well.