Finding Family

Evalynn: Hello Lisa

I'd dressed up nicely in my favourite floral dungarees and a nice top, even though mamma had said I didn't need to look nice, and she'd helped me brush my hair so it wasn't so frizzy and tufty when it had dried after my shower this morning. I never usually showered in the morning, but I wanted to make a good impression on Lisa. Plus I'd got muddy playing on the swing in the garden with Ben this morning.
"Awww Evalynn you look so pretty." Mamma said when I walked downstairs. I was holding Tara in one hand, because I knew I'd get anxious when Lisa arrived and I needed something with me I could use to take my mind off it.
"Thank you." I whispered, blushing slightly.
Mamma smiled and hugged me very quickly. "It'll be alright, you've met Lisa before and if anything it'll be easier this time. Just if it's scaring you just think of her as one of my friends, just as Lisa not Lisa. Yeah that didn't make any sense..." She told me, before kissing my head gently. Letting me go, she turned her attentions back to Benjamin, who was dressed like a pirate and running around with a foam sword again.
"It made sense, it's just a little scary for me." I replied. New people weren't exactly my favourite thing in the world, and even though Lisa wasn't a new person as such in this situation she sort of was, and I'd looked up to her most of my life so it felt almost wrong to be meeting her so casually.
Mamma glanced at me and smiled. "You'll do great baby."
I smiled back at her, biting my lip slightly. Mamma headed over to Ben, scooping him up in her arms and trying to encourage him to take the pirate costume off. He stubbornly refused, but eventually gave up when he realised mamma was serious about her decision. I perched on the sofa and checked my phone. Mia and Ash had been messaging me a lot the last couple of days, and it was kinda kicking in just how far Durham and Gloucester really were. They'd both messaged me, basically saying that they missed me and that they couldn't wait to see me when I came back. I sighed and texted back to both of them, telling them that I missed them too. Yeah I was with my mamma and my half-brother here, but it felt odd knowing that outside this house I didn't know anyone around here.

I was dragged from my little world by Mick coming to join me on the sofa.
"So when you're next up here, whenever that will be, I can show you some basic coding stuff if you want?" He asked.
I nodded. "If you want to."
Since he found out I was good at Sudokus, he'd been showing me other logic puzzles to see how many different types I could do. It wasn't the most normal way to get to know your step-father, but it was working for us two. I still wasn't sure I'd ever be as close with him as I was with mamma and Ben, but it was a step in the right direction.
"Oh that's a point..." He mumbled, before heading back off to his office to do something.

When Ben came back from making himself not look like a pirate, he walked straight up to me and announced that he was hosting a teddy bear tea party and that me, Josie, Tara and 'the other bear' were invited to join him. I still hadn't told anyone what Faye bear's name was, because I was still a little embarrassed about it. I couldn't help but laugh at the idea, because I used to play the same sort of game with Charlotte until she'd outgrown it (at around the age I was now), and headed upstairs to get my other two bears.
I joined him in the play den, where his bears were sat in a circle and he was sat with Blue on his lap. I set my teddies down so they were part of the circle with his - Faye bear one side, Tara the other, Josie on my lap - and we pretended the bears were having a meeting, doing silly voices for the different bears. And it was lovely. It was nice to play kiddie games again, especially with someone so cute.
"What your name?" The elephant teddy asked Faye bear.
I bit my cheek, and tried to quickly come up with a lie. "My name's Fairy. What's your name?" I had Faye bear reply. It wasn't a complete lie, we'd done about mythology in school at one point last year, and there were species of Fairy called both Fae and Fay that existed, so I wasn't completely lying about her name really. It was just a parallel.
"Sniffles" The elephant teddy (well Ben) replied.

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There was a knock on the front door and I scrambled to my feet, dropping Josie and grabbing Tara instead, so I could go peek at who was there. Ben followed, carrying the little plastic teacup he'd been holding with him. I bit my lip as I saw mamma hug Lisa and backed away, suddenly very nervous indeed. I contemplated running back to the play den and hiding until Lisa left.
"Aunty Lisa!" Ben squealed, running to Lisa and hugging her.
"Awh hello Benjamin!" She replied, hugging him in return. I kept myself hidden in the doorway, watching the exchange and trying to work out how best to say hello.
Faye, because suddenly with Lisa here as well I was struggling not to see her as Faye, looked round the door, smiled at me and gently took my hand. "It's okay Ev." She whispered.
I nodded and took a step closer to her, before taking a deep breath. I looked at Lisa and squeezed both mamma's hand and Tara. But no matter how hard I tried I couldn't find any words. In the end I resigned myself to that and looked up at Lisa with a soft smile.
"Hello Evalynn. It's nice to meet you at last." She told me.
"It's nice to see you too." I mumbled, suddenly finding Tara incredibly interesting to look at. She smiled at me as I looked up at her. I didn't need to be nervous, I needed to be normal. "It's really nice to actually meet you." I told her.
She gave me a quick hug, and I hugged her back. Ben was sent to the office to see Mick and us girls went to the living room.

After an awkward moment of me sitting listening to a conversation that made very little sense to me, mamma went to make cups of tea and I was left with Lisa.
"I'm going to assume you're quite bright and already know this, but just don't tell everyone about any of the conversations we're going to have okay, because a few of them might well be conversations that are meant to be fairly secret." Lisa told me.
I struggled to work out how to make a promise without sounding like a little kid. "I pinkie promise I won't tell." I replied, offering her my little finger. She looked at it then realised what I was indicating and pressed hers against mine.
She smiled at me. "Fuf... sorry... is it mamma you call her?... said you were nervous about meeting me."
I nodded. "I was. It's because, well I've been a Steps fan since I was really little and I've sort always like looked up to you guys anyway, so I guess it kinda just feels weird to be sat here so casually with you." I rushed, I was still a little nervous deep down then.
"It's alright. I'm just a normal person like anyone else really."
I laughed nervously. "Not to me."
Mamma came and sat between us, but Lisa and I ignored her and carried on our conversation. "How did you even get into loving Steps music though?" Lisa asked me.
"I have two older foster sisters who were both Steps fans, so they play the music all the time. I was either going to love it or hate it and I remember being left at home alone with them once when I was quite young and watching one of the old concerts... I think it was the Wembley one... and just sort of thinking 'yeah I like them'. They used to tease me by saying I looked like Faye!"
Lisa laughed. "Well you do look a lot like her, especially when she had that long curly hair in... oh Faye what video was that?"
Mamma sighed. "Love's got a hold on my heart." We both said at once. She smiled and put her arm round me, pulling me closer for a minute. I treasured the moment.

"I'm taking Ben to the park so you ladies get some peace." Mick called.
"Okay." Mamma replied. "Well that solves that then. No risk Benjamin will show up half way through this conversation. I need to get something from my room in a minute, but first I can't remember if I told you Ev why Lisa's so important."
"You did, it's cause she looked after you while you were pregnant and she's one of the only people who you let hold me before you gave me up." I replied.
Mamma nodded, then went upstairs, leaving Lisa and I alone together again.
"You look lovely dressed like that Evalynn." Lisa told me.
I smiled, "I just sort of wanted to look nice today. I normally just wear whatever clothes I pick up first. I like these because it makes me look like Donna from Mamma Mia!"
She laughed. "You have good taste in musicals."
Then mamma came back down with a box, setting it down on the coffee table and sitting between Lisa and I. I wanted to know what was in there, but I knew I'd find out in a moment anyway. Lisa and mamma shared a knowing smile, and I bit the inside of my cheek.
"This is my box of little things about you." Mamma said, leaning forwards and carefully un-tieing a ribbon that was looped round the box. "I've wanted to show you the whole time you were here, but I really wanted to do it when there was someone else who knew me then around."
The first thing she pulled out the box was a pair of photos, one of her with a little baby and one of Lisa with the baby. I didn't need to be told to realise the baby was me.
"God what was my hair doing in that?" Lisa asked, looking at the one of her.
Mamma laughed. "Something weird. But you had been in charge of me for about three days so that probably didn't help."
I tried not to laugh as Lisa smiled at mamma. "Well I told you back then that it would all turn out alright. It just so happens that it might have taken a little longer than I envisaged but you've found each other." Lisa replied.

As the afternoon went on I became more comfortable with Lisa, and listened to more than my fair share of weird conversations about... well everything. The conversations would go from a random thing that happened when they were filming/recording/touring in various places to 'do you remember when...', then back to me, then on to a different incident while they were in Steps, and then back to whichever event they'd started off talking about. It was a little odd, but it was nice.
When Lisa had to leave that evening I realised I'd enjoyed her company so much that I was brave enough to hug her, and she hugged me back, telling me that she hoped she'd see me again soon. I'd told her that I hoped I'd see her soon too, and then let her go.

Here come the start of what will hopefully be a run of uploads of parts of this story!