Finding Family

Faye: Parenthood

Yesterday, I gave birth to my son. Today he'd been discharged from hospital, and me and Mick were off to give him a name. It wasn't the first time I'd done this part either, although I didn't let that on to Mick as he carried our little baby boy who so calm and sleepy having not long been fed. We'd talked it over a lot in the last few hours. Sure we'd agreed we wanted to call him Benjamin, but what should his middle name be? We never decided, so the conclusion we eventually made was that he would have two. Two middle names, just like his big sister. The big sister Mick still didn't know had a name, let alone that she was still somewhere out in the world.
We reached the place we needed to go to and been directed to one office. Having been asked to confirm his date of birth we were then asked for his name. Mick and I glanced at each other as a final check before he said it, and I tried my very best to hide my tears. Last time I'd done this I'd done it alone. At least the process was going to be less complicated this time.
"Benjamin James Arthur Smith." He replied. James had been his idea, Arthur had been mine. We immediately concluded it would be better if I wrote it down on the form, Mick's writing had the tendency to be a little hard to read at times. Then with that done we ended up having to do all the other questions we each had to do before handing the paperwork over. When Mick was doing his part I held Benjamin and couldn't help but just stare at him. He was so beautiful and shared a few features baby Evalynn which didn't help my need to cry. He had those adorable blue baby eyes, but it wasn't really a question on what colour his eyes would end up, at least with both parents having blue eyes it shouldn't be. I already knew I was entirely in love with him, though it hurt how much he reminded me of baby Evalynn right now.

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When we got home, I got the glamorous task of feeding (and subsequently changing) Benjamin. I knew it wouldn't be so hard as time went by, but I also knew that the traditional fatherly promise of "I'll look after him more once he's older" wouldn't be holding water for long. Hell, I wasn't doing all the difficult tasks and leaving Mick to deal with Benjamin when he was at his least awkward, although I was more than willing to pass off teenage boy problems to Mick.
I lifted Benjamin off the changing mat, and carried him to his cot, setting him down gently. He almost went straight to sleep, which was a relief although I knew he'd be up again within a couple of hours and the whole process would start again. I collapsed down on the sofa, and switched on the baby monitor. I then switched on the TV, in the hope I could find something worth watching. I skipped through the channels, and found some hospital drama I'd watched an episode of this time last week. Had it been this time last week? I'd already lost track of time, which happens more than you might think when you don't work a "normal" job. I watched through, and was watching some help finding a home show when Mick came into the room. He passed me the biscuit tin, and I smiled at him, opening it to find it full of chocolate chip cookies. I kissed his cheek.
"How's your hand?" I asked him. I was aware it had probably bruised by now.
"Still aches but not too bad. How's you?" He replied.
"Well all considering, not too bad either." I replied. We exchanged a smile, as Benjamin started crying.
"It's your turn." I said, indicating to the baby monitor. "I'll come just so you know what you're doing."
He sighed, and we walked upstairs together. Mick walked into the room and then sat by the cot, looking at Benjamin. I sighed, knowing full well nothing was going to happen.
I picked up Benjamin, and rocked him in my arms. He did a little newborn giggle. Slowly his giggling quietened again as he fell asleep. I set him back down in the crib again, and indicated for Mick to leave quietly. He did so, clearly not wanting to wake his son back up. I watched Benjamin sleep from the doorway for a few minutes, and cried silently. I'd bitten back the tears enough today, it was time I let them free. I couldn't get Evalynn back now, not until Benjamin was older and then maybe they would understand that they were related. But I'd have to tell Mick one day soon, otherwise it was going to escape involuntarily.