Finding Family

Evalynn: Meeting Faye

There's something magical about dressing up, there always has been. Maybe its because it makes you feel like the person who you're dressing up as. So now I felt a lot more brave than normal, because I no longer felt like plain old Evalynn. In my head I had courage and endless energy like Faye used to.
We'd spent a couple of weeks after finding out about us going to the tour arguing over which music video we were going to co-ordinate our outfits from. Ash had argued for Summer of Love because of all the bright colours, Mia for Here and Now because it was her favourite song. My pick had been Stomp because it was quite casual (and one of my favourites). In the end, despite none of us arguing for it, we ended up going for Love's got a Hold on my Heart, which had lead to multiple 'costume department' problems during us preparing for tonight. But now we were on a train on our way to Cardiff to see our favourite band.
Mia was dressed in what was actually an altered yellow checked school dress to be Lisa. Ash's Claire outfit had been easy to put together, but the silly puffy sleeved top of Faye's had thrown up numerous problems for me. I still wasn't entirely happy with it, but I'd stopped trying to make it better in fear of eventually making it worse. I'd spent half an hour letting people poke at my hair, and had concluded that if it had gone on any longer someone would have died. There were definitely negatives to looking like Faye, the main ones being fashion sense for concert outfits and hairstyles. But that didn't make me love it any less - either my outfit or how similar to Faye I naturally looked. In a few short hours I would meet my favourite celebrities and the excitement was far outweighing the worries over the out of place stitches.

No-one was entirely sure how Katie had managed to get us meet-and-greet pass upgrades, even she wasn't sure, but it was exciting none the less. Because this would give me the chance I'd been hoping for, to meet Faye. Katie had been sent the passes in the post a couple of days earlier, and they said they were good for one adult ticket holder, and one junior ticket holder, which me and my friends all were. So all six of us would get a chance to go in. It was a thrilling thought.
But as the train drew closer to Cardiff I began to worry. What if I didn't look the part? What if my outfit was an embarrassment? No mummy Amy wouldn't have let me go out looking stupid, she'd have told me. What if meeting my favourite band was going to prove a let-down? Now the last part was a far bigger worry than any of the others had been. I concluded I was worrying over nothing, and pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind.

Katie met us when we got off the train, a massive grin on her face.
"It's today!" She squealed at Charlotte and I, hugging us both.
"I'm so excited!" I said to them.
"Me too!" Charlotte added.

#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*

I was terrified, but my outfit kept filling me up with additional confidence. In a few moments I'd get to go into that room and meet my favourite celebrity. But I was still scared. Would they all judge us for putting in so much effort to our costumes? No. As I looked round the other waiting fans I realised that wearing video costumes was relatively normal, it was being an 11-year old that wasn't normal at a Steps concert.

The door opened and I looked at my friends. There was no going back. We headed along the line and the older three had the passes checked. There was a quick check of our bags and then we were given our programmes. I reached into my bag and clasped my hand around Tara, squeezing her for good luck. The twins and I headed straight for Claire, who called our costumes cute and signed our programmes (and to her credit put up with Ash saying repeatedly how much she loved her). We were working round the room clockwise, meaning that Faye was going to be the last member we spoke to. I kept glancing over at her, in her beautiful yellow top. I was certain I was just fighting down the urge to run straight over to her because something was very strongly drawing me to her.
The next stop was H. He laughed at our costumes in his usually jestful manner, before telling the three of us we were adorable in his lovely Welsh accent. I'd always loved Welsh accents, and I don't think I was ever likely to stop loving them. Lee was chirpy and cheerful, though looking back I have no clue what he said to us, but I remember he said something about how sweet we looked. The first thing Lisa said to us was how cool Mia's work to recreate her Love's got a Hold outfit had been, she did call Ash and I cute as well mentioning how alike Faye I looked.

Now though it was Faye, and therefore my time to shine. I fiddled with the bottom edge of my top then, when didn't help calm my nerves, I slipped Tara back out my bag and squeezed her. My heart was in my mouth by the time we reached Faye. She looked at my friends, and her eyes settled on me for a long moment. "You guys are so cute!" She exclaimed.
She signed my friends' programmes and then it was my turn. She looked over me again, taking in every detail of me, my costume and my hair, including the fact I was basically clinging onto Tara for dear life by this point. "You are especially cute, and actually, you remind me of someone. What's your name?" She asked as I handed her my programme with shaky hands.
"Evalynn. E-V-A-L-Y- double N. Most people can't spell it." I told her, I was both proud of my name and ashamed in situations like this about how hard it is to spell.
She looked shocked. "That's a beautiful name. Your parents have great taste."
I gulped back my nerves. "I don't know, I've never met them." I replied with a shy laugh. There was something about her that I just innately trusted without her even having to try. I didn't mind her knowing something I tried so hard to hide most of the time, in fact a small part of me wanted to tell her as much as I knew about mamma.
She covered her mouth, but I could still faintly see the shock in her eyes. She shook her head. "That's such a shame." Her voice shook as she spoke. She quickly wrote a message in my programme, longer than what she'd written in either of my friends' programmes. She showed it to me then whispered. "Don't tell or show anyone, but text me later if you can. I think there's something I can tell you about your parents that you don't know."
I nodded to her and closed my programme. "Okay. I will." I whispered back. And then she gave me a little hug, which felt absolutely wonderful. In that moment I felt like my whole night had been made by just that one thing.

When we were waiting to take our picture with the band I glanced over the message.
"Dear Evalynn. There is a lot more I need to find out about you and we haven't got time now. I think I may know who your birth mother is.
Also you're very cute, and your outfit is awesome, I think it's the best one I've seen on this tour! Faye Tozer"
Underneath she'd signed it, and underneath that was a phone number with a little arrow pointing at it labelling it with "text me later". I was bugged by something about the writing but pushed it down. As I thought about it more there were subtle little similarities in a few of the letters to the annual notes from mamma. I didn't let myself think anything more of it; I was jumping to conclusions again.
I grinned and squeezed Tara tighter before tucking both Tara and the program (upside down so we'd know who's was who's) into our bag. Could this be the first steps towards finding my real family? My real, birth, family?

#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*

When the concert was over and we were in my aunty's car on the way to her house for the night I got the programme back out my bag, and read the phone number in the passing street lights, typing each number in and checking it before saving it as a contact and texting the number.
"Hello Faye (I hope its Faye anyway), It's Evalynn (the little blonde 'Love's got a Hold' girl from earlier). You said you wanted me to text you, so here you go I guess, my number. I suppose given your message in my programme this contact will lead to you asking me questions, and I'm willing to answer them if I can (though I make no promises). I hope you'll be able to help me find my mamma.
Evalynn."
I checked the message for any obvious typos, the problem was I really needed someone else to look over them, and I couldn't get anyone to because, for now, this had to remain a secret. Because Faye had asked for me to keep it a secret, and because I didn't want to hurt Mummy Amy and Daddy Ian's feelings by rushing out to look for my parents. But they knew it would happen one day, that the natural curiosity would have to take over, and that I'd have to try and find them, they didn't need to know it was happening right now, because I wasn't entirely sure yet this would lead me anywhere. And if Faye didn't actually know my parents, well then I'd have to live with that, and telling people wouldn't help me in that department.

I pushed Faye and mamma to the back of my mind then and laughed with my sisters about the show. It had been amazing, and it felt like nothing had changed between then and now, only that they were older and Claire was a little fatter. But they were all still amazing and they were all still beautiful. But while the show had been incredible the more exciting part was yet to come. Hopefully anyway. Faye might be able to help me find my mamma.

That night, still in a happiness high from seeing Steps, I followed mamma's previous advice and stared up at the sky. I did so for well over an hour. And as I gradually tired and calmed down I whispered "I hope wherever you are you're looking at the same stars and you're proud of me mamma. I followed your trail and Faye's going to help me. So one day, maybe soon, we'll get that hug. I love you. And I can't wait to meet you."

Again, I'm sorry that this part is late, I've been away.
Lis