Finding Family

Faye: Cardiff

It had been her. I was sure of it. There were too many similarities between the picture of my Evalynn and the Evalynn girl that had been at the meet and greet today. It was so improbable that they'd be different people that I wouldn't let myself consider that as an option.
The second we were back in our dressing room I told Lisa. "The group of little girls at the meet and greet, the ones dressed up as Love's got a Hold, you met the one dressed as me from that video right?" I asked her. I was making no sense but I didn't care. Lisa would be able to understand what I was trying to say anyway, at least she'd been putting up with me for long enough that if she couldn't I had some serious questions.
"Awww they were adorable, and she looked so like you it was... Oh! We're in... You think it was Evalynn don't you..." She replied, trailing off as the realisation set in.
"They were cuties! I... urh I actually did think their little outfits were cute!" Claire added, collapsing onto the chair across the room from us like she usually did.
"Weren't they adorable! It must have been her, there's no other likely outcome. I think I knew even before she told me her name because she almost felt familiar. And I know that sounds silly because I haven't seen her for 11 years, but she did. And she gave me the kind of home feeling that I have with the boys." I told her.
"That... makes sense... ish... So anyway what hella stupid thing did you do because you think you've found her? Alternatively what stupid thing are you planning to do?" Claire asked on Lisa's behalf.
I took a deep breath and prepared to be verbally abused for stupidity by my friends. "I gave her my phone number. I told her to message me after the show." I said.
"Well that wasn't what I was expecting you to say you did. I was braced for something stupid." Lisa replied.
"I regret letting her go, and I'm not going to miss my opportunity to meet my daughter properly. But I need to be sure it is definitely her first." I explained.
I could see in the mirror Claire nod. "That's surprisingly smart Fuf. And that... wasn't meant to sound like an insult."
I smiled. I wasn't used to being called smart by Claire, or particularly by anyone. I walked across the room and hugged her. It was awkward because I was hugging her from behind and she was sat down, but it expressed my feelings well enough. "Awww thanks Clara." I said.
"No problem." She replied, patting my hand gently.
The conversation was cut off by the women in charge of styling our hair coming into the room. It wasn't that I didn't want them to know, I wouldn't be able to keep it a secret forever, it was just that I didn't want everyone chatting about it while I still wasn't sure. I was ushered across the room to give Claire space and decided now would be a good time to text Mick and tell him about all this.

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The show went brilliantly, mostly because we were all relatively practised at it now, but I still couldn't get the idea of Evalynn being out there in that crowd out of my head. Doing shows and stuff was meant to have the opposite effect wasn't it?
I'd ignored my phone the whole way though the show, mostly because the changes of costume were chaotic enough without trying to check my phone as well, so I'd had new messages from Mick for practically the entire show. At first I didn't know if I wanted to read them, I knew what I wanted him to have said, I knew what I definitely didn't want to see, but I wasn't sure which it would be. So once I'd put on some normal clothes and taken my make-up off I sat in the hallway (waiting for the others to be ready) and opened the message.
"It's great you're trying so hard to find Evalynn baby, but I thought you said there was no point if you were always going to be busy doing tours and stuff. Also you never told me what that letter actually said. X"
There was a second one that had been sent about half an hour later which was my usual evening text message "Ben says goodnight mamma x" finished off with a heart emoji.
I bit my lip, I'd forgotten I hadn't told him what was in the letter. I thought for a moment. "I can't be bothered to type out the explanation, so can I call you in about an hour? It's just it's complicated and I'm too tired to type a massive paragraph. Also yes before you ask I do miss your voice that is part of the reason. Xx" I checked it and then sent it.
I then decided that I needed to reply to the second message as well. "Tell Benjamin that Mamma loves him and misses him. Xx"