Finding Family

Evalynn: Meeting Mamma

Charlotte and Katie walked me up to the spot Faye and I had arranged to meet. It was in a secluded spot, among the bushes and trees from the Americas, I guessed so she knew we'd be safer from prying eyes. I understood that, somewhere we were less likely to be found would make this whole affair less difficult for her in the long run. I hugged both my foster sisters, partly for taking me here for the meeting and partly because I was scared of what I was about to find out and needed that little bit of physical reassurance. Then I took a deep breath and headed toward the blonde woman sat on the bench nearby. This was it, the moment of truth.

I glanced round the area one final time before I sat down next to Faye. It wasn't that I didn't trust her, because I had completely since I'd first met her in Cardiff, just the fact I was scared what was about to happen, and slightly to make sure Charlotte and Katie weren't loitering anywhere close by. I didn't really want people asking awkward questions. Was she going to tell me good news? Or was it going to be bad? Suddenly terrified, I squeezed Tara a little bit tighter in the pocket of my jumper. I slipped her out and into the hand that was further from Faye. Looking down at Tara, I counted to five in my head though it didn't help because I knew she was looking at me, taking in everything just like she had that day in Cardiff. Then, at the memory of that, I smiled a little and I knew I was ready. I knew I had to learn what she could tell me.
I looked up at her and she smiled at me. "Hi Evalynn." She said.
I smiled at her, it was slightly forced but it calmed me down a little bit more. "Hi Faye. Have you found my mamma?" I replied, cutting straight to the point.
She smiled at me again. If the fact she seemed to always be smiling in Reunion and the interviews wasn't enough proof this just made it seem real. She really was Smiley Steps, that clearly wasn't just an act. "That's just the thing I wanted to talk to you about b... Evalynn. You see, you might have picked up on it, but I was asking you all those questions about you, the toy lamb, the locket, things like that..." at mention of Tara I squeezed her again, and instinctively lay my thumb on the locket as she mentioned that. I was rarely without it, it was so small and hid so easily under my clothes I even wore it to school. "...which honestly only your mamma would properly know about because I wanted to work this out properly before I told you, just to be sure. But now I'm certain. Evalynn, you're my daughter."

I was shocked. I mean I'd always dreamt it, but that dream actually being true? No she must be lying. I needed to ask her something, something that only she'd know. I panicked and asked the first question that came to my head to buy me time to think it through. "If that's the case, according to my Birth Certificate, where was I born?" Why that question brain?
"Northampton, the same as me, because nobody cared where in the country I wrote so that was where I picked. And if you'd seen your birth certificate you'd know that."
"I've never been allowed to see it. I just know because it's on my foster care file and I've seen that a couple of times." I replied sadly. I was burning to ask her, to get her to prove it really was her. To prove Faye and Mamma were the same person. I lent down and picked up my backpack, pulling out my usual grey pencil and notebook. I placed them between us on the bench. "If it's really you, as in if you're really my mamma, you'll know what I mean when I say draw the heart symbol." I couldn't look her in the eye, I didn't know why, but I just couldn't. Maybe because I knew if she didn't know what I meant it would crush me.

I heard her pick up the pencil and slide the notebook closer to her. I squeezed Tara yet again. I heard the pencil scratching against the surface of the paper, and glanced up to see her confidently drawing it. The symbol, our symbol. "You mean this one don't you." She replied, turning the notebook and passing it back to me.
I looked at, studied it closely just to be completely sure it was the same as the symbol I was so familiar with, then looked up at her with tears in my eyes and nodded. Through that long moment she didn't rush me or even question me further, she just let me have a moment to process what I'd just discovered. All this time my daydreams, Mia, Ash, Katie and Lottie, we'd all been right. I was overcome with emotions. All these years, my favourite celebrity had really been my mother. I'd been dressing up as her, getting excited when she was on a TV show - I'd never known. "You really are!" I said, getting up and almost launching myself at her, Tara and the notebook momentarily forgotten as we hugged. "All this time... All this time I've loved Steps and I never... I never even realised that I was looking at my Mamma!"
She drew me in close and kissed my forehead. "Well now you know my baby girl." For a few seconds she squeezed me a little tighter, so tight I thought she might crush my bones, before relaxing slightly and kissing my head again. It was like she too had the urge to secretly test if this was real or all in a dream. But it was real, I was snuggled up in the arms of my mamma after 11 years apart.