Even Now

Chapter 43: Companionship

June 10, 1994: Seattle, WA, USA

Jerry wakes up around 5 am to the sound of Layne's bedroom door opening.

He's about to roll over and close his eyes again, wanting to shut out the obvious realization that Layne had only come out to use again... and then he hears Layne speak.

His voice is soft- shy, even. He sounds very far away, or at the very least, withdrawn into himself.
His words sound forced, as though he'd worked up the nerve to say anything at all.

"I don't... I don't want to sleep alone anymore."

Confused, Jerry groggily sits up.

There outside his bedroom door stands Layne, hands behind his back, hair uneven and falling into his eyes.
He stares at Jerry expectantly before turning back into his room, leaving the door wide open.

Not sure what to make of this, Jerry takes a moment to really think about it.

Okay... he said he doesn't want to sleep alone anymore. And then he left his door open.
Does he want me to...?

Feeling a bit nervous, he gets up off the couch, hesitantly approaching Layne's room.

Standing in the doorway, Jerry tilts his head as complete adoration overcomes him; Layne looks so angelic where he lays on his side, eyes closed, arm under his head.

He's just... lonely. He quite literally does not want to sleep alone anymore.
I can understand that...

Jerry quietly makes his way over to Layne's bed, standing for a moment at his bedside before hesitantly sitting down on the unoccupied edge.

Jerry can't find it in himself to lie down... he feels numb, afraid that he'd gotten it wrong... maybe Layne had just been making a statement-

And then he hears bedsprings for a moment, a hand suddenly gripping his wrist.

Jerry looks over his shoulder, seeing that Layne had turned to face him; working mechanically, Jerry gives in, lying down as Layne lets go of him.

He has to admit, he feels great relief at no longer being on a cramped couch.

Jerry turns onto his side to face Layne, surprised when he's greeted by wide, glistening eyes.
He stares at Jerry for a moment, letting out a slight sigh as he lowers his head, shifting closer to nuzzle into the guitarist's chest.

Jerry is in shock for a moment; instinctively, he wraps a protective arm across Layne's torso, wanting so much to protect him in this vulnerable state, having desired to be this close to him again for far too long now...

They stay like that throughout the night; it's the best either of them have slept in months.

***

Every night after that one is the same.
Eventually, Layne doesn't have to ask anymore; it becomes routine, with Jerry just following Layne to bed at night.
While it was incredibly intimate, Jerry swore never to take advantage of the situation to make it anything more...

Slowly but surely, Layne's cold exterior began to melt.
It was so easy letting go of the front he'd put up... just having Jerry around him brought his seemingly withered personality back to life again.

Jerry made sure to give Layne his space, never telling him what to do or expressing frustration towards his drug abuse.

Layne was just relieved to finally have someone who genuinely cared about him. He started coming out of his room and the bathroom more often, opting to spend the time he wasn't sleeping or using in the common area with Jerry. They both felt content to do or say nothing together, while at the same time felt free to talk about the most random things, watch TV or play video games to fill the time. Layne hadn't played his video games in awhile, and Jerry had never been particularly fond of them... so, out of practice, they decided to just be terrible at them together.