Even Now

Chapter 13: Twist My Arm

November 3, 1993: Perth, Australia

Sunlight creeps lazily in through the blinds adjacent to where Layne lies on the comforter of his bed. It's hard for him to believe that just mere hours ago he'd found Demri close to death in the bathroom.

Her heroin paraphernalia, still in there, beckons him ever so quietly, so innocently, to use it.

Fight this. Think about anything else, just anything.

It's not shocking when it's Jerry who comes to mind.

You almost kissed him. You wanted to kiss him.

Layne had kind of wanted to test Jerry last night, as strange as that sounds. He didn't really believe Jerry when he'd said he didn't feel anything for Layne anymore, so Layne opted to find the truth out for himself.

Why?

Well, it wasn't because Layne had wanted Jerry to still have feelings for him. He just couldn't shake the sneaking suspicion that Jerry had only been there for him that night because of all that shit with Demri. In some sick way, maybe Jerry had thought he'd had a chance with Layne.

Layne had felt betrayed enough. He didn't need Jerry to use him - to lie to him - too.

Sure, Layne had already known the answer. He knew why he'd asked.

Yeah, it was a bit mean to torture Jerry like that.
I mean, if a girl had done that to Layne, he would've been left a hot mess.

But, strangely, that's not exactly how the encounter went.

Layne remembers the desire he'd seen in Jerry's eyes. The longing. The sight of it had confirmed what Layne had already been sure of.
And when Jerry had turned away from him, Layne had just felt so... frustrated.
Not dominant. Not like he'd beat Jerry at some sort of game.
Frustrated.

Yeah, that kind of frustrated. You know what I mean.

He didn't know if it was because he'd wanted to get back at Demri, or if it was because he was still a bit drunk... but he'd never found Jerry more attractive- which wasn't saying a lot, as he'd never seen Jerry in that way before.

He's your best friend. Your best friend.
Your friend, who you're still mad at for ruining things between you.

You want him to be your friend again. A real friend. That's it. Friend.

You've told him in more ways than one that you wanted it to stay that way... so why're things changing for you? Do you just want that closeness back? Or are you actually attracted to him?

***

Layne walks into the band's rehearsal room, eyes turned quickly to the floor when he sees Jerry tuning his guitar across the room.

What. The. Hell. Why am I so nervous right now?!

He makes his way over to the microphone stand, grabbing a water bottle offered to him by a techie.

The room is square and small, with instruments, music stands, amps, chairs and stools scattered around, with the occasional tech guy walking around. Sean's drum set takes up the most room... if it weren't there, Layne wouldn't have had to sit only 6ft away from the man he didn't really want anything to do with in that moment.

"Hey," Jerry grins, looking up at Layne for a second before focusing back on his guitar.

The corner of Layne's mouth twitches into a sad excuse for a smile. "Hey."