Even Now

Chapter 11: Thrown Down

⚠️ *Sensitive subjects ahead.* ⚠️

***

Early morning of November 3, 1993: Perth, Australia

Pregnant.

The word itself smacks him right upside the head.

"Y-you're... pregnant," Layne stammers.

Demri nods from under the covers, shaking.

"But you... you relapsed. You overdosed, you..." Layne stands, letting go of her hand as he covers his mouth in horror. "You tried to kill it?!"

Demri pulls the covers back to look up at him. "I'm so, so sorry, Layne."

Layne turns away from her. He can't bear to look at her right now. "You... you didn't even tell me, Dem. You didn't even give me the chance to react to it. To talk to you about it. You- you could've died!" He turns to her again. "How could you do this?"

Demri shakes her head, shutting her eyes. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want it to be real. I didn't- I don't want this."

Layne feels anger, frustration, anything but understanding. He paces the floor, wanting desperately to punch someone. Something. Anything.

Demri looks at Layne, frustration and sadness in her eyes. "I never wanted to just be 'Layne Staley's girlfriend', nevermind 'wife'. That's all people see me as, they... they see me in the street, and that's all I am to them. I don't want to just be 'the mother to Layne Staley's child', too. I feel like... like I have no identity anymore."

Layne closes the door to the room. "So you decided to kill yourself, a-and our... our kid... because you felt like you had no identity anymore?" His voice is raised now, stance furious and defensive.

"No!" Demri yells back. "I... I didn't want to die. I don't want to die. I just... I just wasn't sure-"

"You weren't sure? Sure of what? Oh, what the hell, Demri?!" Layne yells. He kicks the wall and puts his head in his hands. "Why did you marry me? Why the hell are you with me at all?"

Demri starts to sob again. "Layne, please... I'm sorry, I- I was confused, I-"

Layne can't stand to be in that room anymore. "Dem... you're... I want to be there, for you, I do-"

"Then stay! Please, Layne, don't leave me," Demri sobs.

Layne walks towards her, stopping about 2ft away. "I just... I can't... I'm not leaving you, okay? I just... I just need some time to think." He heads for the door. "I'll be back to get you when you're done... detoxing."

"Layne, wait-" Demri cries after him.

He doesn't want to hear it.
He leaves the room, closing the door behind him.

He makes eye contact with Jerry, who's still sitting there in the hallway, visibly confused.

"You oka-" Jerry starts.

"I need to get out of here. You comin' or not?" Layne grumbles, anger rising in his chest.

I can't believe Demri... why would she do that to herself? To me?

Jerry nods, shock on his face. He stands, grabbing the blanket and his coat. "Seriously, though-"

"Not ready to talk about it," Layne cuts him off, storming out of the hospital with Jerry in tow.

***

After a few minutes of walking around outside, Layne is able to hail a cab.

Jerry is incredibly confused by Layne's angry, twitchy behaviour.