March 18, 1994: Seattle, WA, USA
Turning 28 was hardly a celebratory occasion... especially when the year ahead looked so, so uncertain...
Despite everything, though, Jerry was looking forward to this birthday.
Just a quiet get-together with friends... with Layne... and Demri won't be there...
It's the early hours on the 18th of March, 1993.
Jerry normally would've slept in, but his mind is racing.
He wishes Layne had spent the night... he's gotten used to waking up beside him, right before Layne is forced to leave.
Every time, it breaks his heart... but in those moments when he's staring at the most angelic face in the world, sleeping beside him... to Jerry, it's worth the pain.
It had only taken them eight months, plus those three months Layne was in rehab with Demri, but... it felt like they were getting somewhere.
Y'know, as where-as-you-can-get on a dead-end road.
Jerry's suddenly hit with a pounding headache.
Well, hello, withdrawal symptoms. I was wondering when you were gonna show up today.
Fuck you.
That's right- Jerry had actually started self-medicating, determined to get clean. He didn't want his habits to bring Layne down again... the man was rather suggestible, and Jerry didn't want his own addictions getting in the way of Layne's progress.
Still, Layne was right: sobriety was a bitch.
What's been hardest on Jerry was his abrupt halt to Xanax.
Nightmares and dark thoughts plague him more often now... dreams of 1987, the year his mother and grandmother died only six months apart from each other- it feels like they'll never stop haunting him.
He misses them dearly.
He used to have Courtney to talk to about them, but she's no longer in his life.
He finds himself missing her... maybe he just misses the stability of that relationship.
But he just couldn't commit to her... and she deserves someone who can give her all of themselves.
Maybe he should try talking to Layne about what happened all those years ago before they'd even met- if it had never happened, he never would've run away and met Layne in the first place.
Jerry figures the right time will come. The right time... and Layne is the right person to tell that kind of stuff to. Especially now more than ever...
On to happier things: Jerry's 28th birthday.
Mike Starr, self-proclaimed "party animal," had something planned for him. Whenever Jerry would ask Layne about it, Layne would just burst out into laughter, barely able to get a coherent word out.
It's probably gonna be a damn strip club again...
***
Oh, wow! It's a strip club!
"Ta-da!" Mike Starr had beamed, getting out of the cab right after Jerry had.
The five of them -Jerry, Layne, Sean, Mike Starr and Mike Inez- had arrived at some random, surprisingly clean club on the outskirts of the city.
It was like they always had to look at random naked chicks whenever they aged. Not that Jerry was complaining, exactly...
He awkwardly looks at Layne, wondering if he can hear his thoughts.
Doesn't look like it.
Jerry honestly just wanted to be at home tonight... not alone, though- preferably with Layne...
Maybe he could've hung out with the other guys for a bit, too, first... but he's never liked the whole "fuss" thing that birthdays usually bring on.
The least he could do was make sure no one went out of their way to get him anything.
YOU ARE READING
Even Now
Fanfiction**Discontinued :( The year is 1993. Heroin addict Layne Staley of Seattle rock band Alice In Chains has just had the fear of God put into him following a bandmate's overdose. When faced with a simple decision, the butterfly effect comes into play...
