Hey, look at the above picture! Idk if it's real but if it is, how cool is that? His ACTUAL phone case is a picture of LAYNE *sobs*
1994... a really fucking shitty, terrible fucking year for a lot of people.
Sorry, this year just makes me sad :( it's like 1990 was depressing enough with the death of Andrew Wood and the end of Mother Lovebone, but then to lose Kurt too... and then to later have Soundgarden and AIC pretty much break up in 1997... and then for Layne to die in 2002, same day as Kurt... it's just so much sad shit, man.
I was actually born a few months after Layne died, same year. So I've never existed in a world where he lived. Which is sad boi hours for me :(
Anyways.... thanks for listening to my rant 😅
On to the story...
***
Since getting back from his father's ranch, Jerry's been trying to focus on his girlfriend.
He knows his father is right about letting Courtney go if he can't shake this thing for Layne.
He's basically still with her out of guilt, not wanting to live out of denial, and maybe also because he still wants to see where things go with her, to see if he's making the right choice by letting her go.
It's really hard for him to choose. Even though the obvious choice is Layne, seeing as he's practically in love with the guy.
But it's difficult...
When you've been with someone for so long, it's hard to imagine life without them. And that's also what makes it so hard for him to give up his hopes of being with Layne.
***
Early January, 1994: Seattle, WA, USA
Jerry yawns as Courtney sets up a movie. It was some foreign film about Bhuddists, or something.
"Apparently," Courtney begins to inform him, sitting down on the couch as he wraps his arm around her shoulders. "Keanu Reeves was very good in this."
"Alright," Jerry shrugs, his eyelids heavy. "How did you even get this?"
"I have a friend of a friend, and so on, in France," Courtney explains. "They said they'd be able to get me a copy. I just thought I should see it before I show it to my photography class. I'm supposed to show my students the effects of warm and cool lighting. Just part of the curriculum."
Jerry nods, not quite sure what that means.
As the movie plays out in front of them, Jerry finds himself becoming more and more intrigued.
The main character, Siddhartha, leaves behind everything he'd grown up knowing to go on a journey of self-discovery.
In his own way, Jerry relates to him. Not so much to the whole 'religious' thing, but to the other stuff. It reminds him of his current situation.
Being with Layne was like leaving behind everything he'd ever known, as he already had everything with Courtney. Sure, there'd be suffering... Siddhartha suffered from losing everything he'd known, too.
But having lived both sides, Siddhartha had gained spiritual enlightenment, the thing he'd wanted to find his entire life.
When the movie ends, Jerry is dumbstruck.
It wasn't the best thing he'd ever seen, but... like I said before, it fuckin' spoke to him, man.
The next day, he sits down with his guitar while alone in the apartment.
He thinks he's found 'inspiration'.
Remember when he wanted to write a song for Layne? Yeah, well, that didn't happen.
YOU ARE READING
Even Now
Fanfiction**Discontinued :( The year is 1993. Heroin addict Layne Staley of Seattle rock band Alice In Chains has just had the fear of God put into him following a bandmate's overdose. When faced with a simple decision, the butterfly effect comes into play...
