𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐙𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐒; 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

charlie's poem

ships - charmac (charlie kelly & mac mcdonald), macdennis (mac mcdonald and dennis reynolds)

fandoms - it's always sunny in philadelphia

warnings - angst and unrequited love, onesided love,

"but that don't make love weak, it's unique the chance is that we'd meet and just speak a million ways they give just to live and i'm just lucky this is it"

sad charmac hours
and a charlie kelly kinnie moment
this is charlie centric

-
he watches them, as they make gentle gestures to each other like they'd do when they're alone together, it's not like them really, but what would he know.

but he couldn't help wishing he was like that with the other and not dennis, to gently cup mac's face as he stands on his tiptoes, to kiss his cheek, lips... to hold his hand, just for mac to look at him with that stupid puppy eye look and mac looking at him like he hung the stars.. something that dennis doesn't deserve.

but whatever makes mac happy, as long as his friend.. best friend didn't get hurt and he was happy it would be okay.. and it was.. it was okay..

still, he would watch them as they'd stare at the other, as they have stupid grins on their faces when they would accidentally brush knees when they sat beside each other.. it made him feel sick

it made him feel sick to his stomach to have to always have to be near.. 'cause that is all he ever wanted since he was 13, to have what dennis has.. to be with mac.. and now.. he'll never get a chance.

he'd still throw on a smile when they'd speak to him, even though it feels as if he was dying on the inside, just wanting it to be over.

he'd always be down in the basement as the rest would leave. he'd get high on whatever he could find that would do the job so he'd forget about the day, he'd lock up and go back to the apartment, lay on the futon as he'd wait for frank, all the while of thinking of his best friend..

and sometimes his feelings would overwhelm him to the point where silent tears roll down his face, and maybe it's just from the high and maybe not, but all the same it would and always will be about mac.. mac.. his best friend.

at the end of every day, he'd do the same thing over and over, and as frank would get back at a late hour they'd play a game of nightcrawlers then they'd sleep, and for those few hours of sleep, he'd actually get he wouldn't feel this way.. just a couple hours..

but as long as mac was happy with what he's got, he'd be okay.. at least his best friend is happy and got what he wanted, that's enough for charlie.. because it's always been about mac.

-
really going through it tonight guys-
this is a vent/projection fic

this is meant to be this short.

anyway imma go contemplate and cry

-mac