Exception (Harry Styles)

Chapter 33

Harry's POV

It's been a few days since my breakdown. I haven't seen Louis or Avery since they left our house the other day. The nightmares still come and go, and I find myself wishing I could go back, and accept the fact that someone actually gave a shit about me.

I miss her. I miss her so much, and I find myself worried about her.

What if she's hurt again? What if she pushes me away like I have her? What will I do then?

I finish getting ready for school. Yeah, my first day back since the accident, and for some reason I am nervous. I'm terrified that Niall has pushed himself between Avery and I. It wouldn'y suprise me if he has.

I know I messed up. I want to apologize but I just can't. I have never been good with apologies. I have never been taught how to apologize, and take blame for my actions. Now that I think about it, I have no idea how Zayn is even dealing with me.

I sit down at my desk, pulling out my old journal that I haven't wrote in for a few days. I sigh, opening it up to a new page.

Lately I have been relating life to war. I have fought my lifes war ever since that night it happened. The night that broke me into a million of pieces, and until now, been shattered on the cold, hard ground.

Until I met her.

I understand how she may feel, for I have felt the same, if not worse. I want to help her, and pick up the pieces, but no matter how hard I try, I always end up failing.

I always snap.

I can tell she cares. If she didn't care, she would have kicked me to the curb long ago. She would have avoided me with all costs the first day on that stupid bus. I can also tell that she feels similar to me. She is smart, too smart, and can see straight through my lies that I try so hard to keep going.

Who would care for a guy like me?

A monster? A phyco? A heartless asshole?

Avery cares.

Avery cares too much. Her attempts to help me do work. She helps me in ways I can't describe. However, I do not want her to have this affect on me.

Every piece she glues back to me, one of the million pieces I have worked so hard to piece together on her, falls to the ground, and it is a never ending battle to find it and piece them back together.

I sigh as I close the old leather book, stuffing it away in my desk drawer.

"Harry, come on! We have to go pick up Avery!" Zayn yells.

Shit.

I completely forgot about us picking her up from now on. Part of me is excited to see her, but then there is this other part of me that is terrified.

What if she is texting Niall? What if they have been hanging out while I have been laid up in bed?

Or worse... What if they are together?

I shake the thoughts away from my mind and grab my binder.

Why would they be together? Avery wouldn't do that right? She knows how I feel about him, right?

But why wouldn't she?

He is perfect for her on the outside.

He's smart, I'm not.

He's careful, I'm not.

He doesn't yell, I do.

I let out a frustrated groan, and walk out to the old truck where Zayn is waiting with the heat blasting. I'm definitely regret being careless and getting into that accident. Not only because it caused me so much pain, but also because now we are stuck driving this piece of shit.