Exception (Harry Styles)

Chapter 32

I sat there for the longest time. I almost forgot my cousin was with me, even though I am glad he is here. The support he gives me just by sticking around and not rushing me to leave is more than I could even ask for right now.

I have no clue what time it is, or just how long I have sat here on this dock, looking out into space. I assume it has been at least an hour or two for the orange colored rays are starting to peek up from the horizon.

"Hey Zayn?" I ask, my voice hoarse from not speaking in such a long time.

"Yeah" He asks, stretching slightly and looking over at me. I can tell he is tired from the bags that are prominent on his eyes, the dim light coming from the sunrise helping me see just how lucky I am to have someone in my family that cares, the only one that gives a shit about me that is still alive.

"Why is it so hard to do the right thing?" I ask.

"What do you mean Harry?" Zayn almost whispers beside me.

"Why can't you choose who you fall in love with?" I ask, trying my hardest to hold back my emotions, but I fail when my voice cracks. I can tell Zayn noticed by his slow, but steady breath he takes, probably thinking about how he can pity me without starting yet another breakdown.

"I... Harry... I don't know how to answer that. I can't answer that because I have wondered the same thing. I may not be in your situation, but I have wondered the same thing and I wish I could answer that, but I can't. I can't answer that because I do not know." He says sadly.

I feel a hand rest on my shoulder, and I can't help but let a tear fall. I hate crying. I shouldn't cry, I am too strong for that. I have gone through hell, I shouldn't be crying because of some girl.

"Harry, if Avery makes your happy, why don't you try and make it work?"

"I can't damage her more. I can't be there for her, and then hurt her. I have to protect her, it's something I have promised myself and Avery herself, that I would do. But it's so hard Zayn. It's so hard to not fall into the trap. I just wish I was stronger, I wish I didn't give into what I wanted last night. I shouldn't have let my guard down the way I did. I just... I miss her Zayn. I miss my mum." I finish the last sentence in a strained voice as I fight for strength; however I lose it when I feel Zayn pull me into a hug. I feel like I'm choking, not from Zayn's hug, but from my ribs contracting and expanding as I try and break my pathetic sobs.

"I knew this was coming." Zayn whispers. "I knew you were breaking. I could tell. Your nightmares were becoming more frequent, your guard was being let down more. Your inner battle with Avery is taking a toll on you, Harry. You are not the same man that moved here."

"It's so fucking hard man. It's so hard not having a parent figure in your life. Why the fuck did my mom get taken away like that? It should have been him in that damn plane, not her. He should have been lost at sea, not her."

"Harry-"

"NO!.. it... it should have been him." I feel defeated, weak, broken, and I hate it.

"I know its hard Harry, but you know despite everything that has happened, your mom would be proud of you. She would be proud because you protected your sister; you did what you had to do, and you were strong through the whole thing, and she would be proud of you."

Zayn's POV

This whole situation is so messed up, so unfair, so heartbreaking. Few people and I mean few people have seen Harry Styles cry. Mostly because he puts up such a strong mask, and hides it better than a dog would hide its favorite bone. I praise him for being so strong. I praise him because I am well aware that I am nowhere near like him. I'm not as strong as him, and I would have probably lost it a long time ago if I have gone through even half the shit that he has gone through.