saved | e.d.

52

ethan pov

i heard the door open and close and i felt all the rage i had bubble right back up. i sprang out of bed and headed for the grayson.

"someone is on a mission." he says half jokingly.

"oh yeah because i've got some shit to tell you." i was mad HELL I WAS SEETHING.

"woah calm down what happened?" grayson put his hands out slightly.

i didn't care though i socked his shit so hard. my fist straight for his jaw.

"WHAT THE HELL MAN?!" he yelled.

"THATS FOR NEVER TELLING ME YOU KNEW." i yelled back.

he immediately stood down and the anger drained from his body. mine however stayed fresh.

"what, now you have nothing to say?" i asked.

"i do but you're not gonna like any of it." he said.

"OH OBVIOUSLY. BECAUSE WHILE IVE BEEN IN MISERABLE PAIN YOUVE BEEN OFF HANGING OUT WITH HER. AND YOU NEVER ONCE TOLD ME." i screamed.

"SHE FOUND ME. OKAY?" he shot back. "she followed us around the city one day and i found her. we talked."

"the point is you know how much her leaving crushed me and you met with her secretly for so long." i said calming down a bit.

"i'm sorry e. she didn't want you knowing. she's been watching in shadows for so long apparently she since she saw i was moving on with my life she thought i was safe to talk again. i'm really sorry for lying." he apologized.

i didn't say anything because i was in so much pain over the fact that she's the one who just didn't wanna see me but him instead. fucking ouch.

"so that's it? she just never wants to see me again? but she'll see you? WHAT DID I DO GRAYSON? I LOVED HER. I LOVED HER WITH EVERYONE FIBER IN MY BODY I STILL LOVE HER." i felt the tears building in my eyes and i swear to you i haven't felt this much pain since dad died.

"ethan stop you didn't do anything-" i cut him off.

"SHUT UP. JUST STOP PLEASE" i was crying at this point and i saw a look flash in graysons eyes that was conflicted. he walked over to the counter and wrote something on a napkin and gave it to me.

"chill out right now, gets some rest, and go." he says calmly.

"g- dude go where" i said.

"that's her apartment address. go to her." he said and my heart shattered. all the lies i cant do this.

i stomped up the stairs and into my room before breaking down and quietly crying into my pillow.

weak moment.

the next day i woke up and sort of sulked around. i had the address to alex's place and i could go to her right now but there's something stopping me.

she doesn't want me. that's why i shouldn't go. it will just hurt more. i cant.

my hands roughly crumpled up the napkin and tossed it into the trash. i sighed and sat back down on my bed.

my eyes drifted back over to the trash can and it was like a magnet pulling me over to the napkin.

"oh for fucks sake." my feet quickly knelt down to the trash and i plucked the crumpled napkin right off the top. "i cant just sit and do nothing. i need to get shit off my chest and get some fucking answers." i muttered to myself before grabbing my keys.

i practically sprinted down the stairs past grayson, hearing a distant 'goodmorning' as i left. i drove as fast as i could to the address in the city but it felt like i was forever away.

once i had arrived i was standing at her doorstep like an idiot. my feet were glued to the ground and i had no voice.

i was nervous.

who am i kidding i'm scared shitless.

all of the sudden i hear the FUCKING door open and it's as if the entire world stopped. i hadn't seen her in an eternity, and here she is.

"what the f-" she started before i finally found my voice. my voice of pure rage.

"NO YOU DONT GET TO SPEAK YET" i yelled as i walked past her into her apartment.

"ethan what-"

"NO! HOW COULD YOU ALEX? HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME LIKE THAT AND EXPECT ME TO BE FINE AND OKAY AND ON TOP OF THAT FUCKING SEE ME BROTHER WHEN YOU JUST DUMPED US BOTH? AND TO BE WATCHING ME BUT YOU COULDNT EVEN SPEAK TO ME? WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO YOU ALEX" i raged.

"STOP. STOP YELLING STOP PITCHING A FIT IM SORRY ETHAN. I AM. I KNOW IT WAS BAD TO BE FRIENDS WITH GRAYSON AND NOT YOU I KNOW IM SORRY. BUT DONT BARGE INTO MY HOUSE AND YELL AT ME." she fired back. i missed that fire in her eyes.

"WELL THEN ASNWER SOME FUCKING QUESTIONS YOU FAILED TO ANSWER FOR MONTHS ON END. WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?" i yelled.

"YOU DIDNT-" she took a deep breath and spoke at a lower volume. "you didn't do anything ethan. i did. i told you BOTH that multiple times. on top of leaving you i had to live without you too you know. and it wasn't exactly fucking rainbows and sunshine for me either." she barked.

"god that makes no sense alex i cared about you more than anyone and i protected you with my life and still you left?" i asked genuinely just in fucking pain.

"ethan i-" she started before i stopped her.

"no screw this. this is so stupid. I CAME HERE IN IMMENSE PAIN OVER THE FACT THAT I FUCKING SAW YOU AND GRAYSON ALL HAPPY AT LUNCH AND IM THE ONLY ONE WHO HASNT MOVED ON AND YOU JUST DONT CARE. YOU LET ME. FUCK YOU." i screamed with tears streaming down my face.

men cry. deal with it.

"FUCK ME? NO FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU FOR SAYING THAT I DONT CARE FUCK YOU FOR NOT REALIZING HOW MUCH I SACRIFICED TO MAKE SURE YOU AND GRAYSON WERE OKAY AND ABSOLUTELY FUCK YOU FOR NOT REALIZINGN HOW FUCKING IN LOVE WITH YOU I AM."

———
A/N: oh i- 😈

VOTE YALL🥳🥳