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ethans pov
(A/N: SWITCHIN UP POSITIONS FOR YOUUU)

it's been a year. a full 365 days without her. i haven't heard a single word from her. i tried going to new york and finding her but we all knew she was smart.

long story short i couldn't find her. grayson hasn't said her name since the day she left. he moved on with his life oh so quickly and it made me angry at first.

but then i realized that he just wanted it to stop hurting. at first we spent every day together because we had become so seperated and now we're closer than ever.

i can see how much he isn't hurting over her anymore. but he gave up. he stopped fighting. and that's something i just can't forgive him for. but it's a small grudge. no biggy.

"hey i'm headed out with scar for the day." grayson says grabbing his keys.

"okay be safe" he nods and walks out the door.

scar. scarlet. his girlfriend. he met her when he spilled his hot coffee all over her white shirt one morning. and ever since then they've been hanging out. but just recently like in the last 2 months or so, they go out and stay out for full days. it's weird, almost like they do little getaways a lot.

maybe he's getting married or something stupid who knows.

the rest of the gang it's content, kingsman came back after a few months to help with blaine but that case has pretty much gone cold. we don't know how or why but there's been no break ins, no heists, no nothing. almost like he just disappeared.

as for me?

i try to look like i'm better now, because you can't exactly have a sad sack as your gang leader you know? but every second i'm alone it's dark, empty, and sad.

365 days without her. 365 days of slow rising insanity.

now to today's plans, i may have forgotten to mention that when we had realized blaine was quiet for so long, we put a hold on trying to take him out. obviously we aren't letting our guard down but he isn't our number one priority anymore.

he hasn't been in my mind much anyway. i usually go to the city for meetings every wednesday anyway, so today i'm on my way there.

the meetings are in new york. so after.....i still spend my time looking for her. sometimes i think if i just mind my own business on the streets of time square well just run into each other like old flames reigniting.

but that never happens. so after my meeting today i'm gonna treat myself to lunch and go home. i cant keep searching and hoping all the time. i'm so drained. i won't stop fighting for her but i need to get my mind off of her a little.

-

"where you headed dolan?" one of my coworkers at the fbi asked.

"to lunch. i need to treat myself to some food and isolation." i joked but not joking.

"been a hard week?" he asked

"more like a hard year." i took a deep breath. "anyway i should get going. enjoy the rest of your day, man." i said he nodded and we both went out seperate ways.

now you might be asking 'why didn't you get help from the fbi to help track her down?'

i did. and after a while they told me they had other things they needed to worry about.

so now i'm on my way to lunch by myself letting me have a pitty party day all to myself. i walk into a restaurant i normally would never eat at but it's been a while so i'm trying it again.

the waitress smiles at me and walks me to a smaller table sort of hidden by the back door. you can see most of the restaurant from here, so now i can just people watch. at least that's a way to keep my mind from running in circles.

i ordered my food and ate about halfway through it when my eyes fixated on the door. in walk scarlet and grayson hand in hand. i almost laugh because we ended up at the same place on accident.

but then someone else walked in behind them. and he held the door for her. and the waitress sat them together. the three of them. all happy and smiling. like they never even parted ways.

what the fuck is this?

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A/N: oop🙄🤚🏻

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